stares

Last night we went to Ruth's Chris for dinner. Today we went to the mall. Jason came both places. Do you realize how good this feels? Even in its glory, it's still annoying at times. We still have to park in regular parking places because we didn't even think about asking for a handicapped hangy thing when we were begging to leave the hospital. I'll try to figure that one out next week. It's even more annoying because we really have to park pretty far away from everyone else so we have room to get the wheelchair next to the door for him too. Whatever, at least he's out.

Last night he was in a bit more pain though, because we were out late by his standards, which is 9pm. But, that's historically when his pain happens. We enjoyed an awesome (expensive) dinner though, so that was nice. Today, we tried to get out a little earlier so he'd be back in time for the night time meds. We left around 3 and were back by 8. But, a long time out! And, they gave him a couple OxyIR's to take along just in case, which was a blessing even though he was virtually pain free the whole time. His right leg did start hurting from hanging down that long though. It was nice to be able to medicate himself if needed though. The doctor also took his PCA away today. He's been going back and forth, and he definitely still used it, but mostly at night. The doc basically said 'look if you're gonna try it, you gotta go all in' so he took it all away. Which is probably true - if it was still sitting here next to his bed, it would be calling his name and I guarantee you he'd ask to be hooked up to it. It's almost like a comfort thing. He did up the night time dose of long acting Oxy though, so hopefully it will work! I'm just afraid of when the pins come out. I don't want him to be in excruciating pain again and then have to get started on it and get off of it for a third time.

Either way, the day at the mall was fun. Although Saturdays at the mall aren't exactly a blast when you're not handicapped. I just wrote it off to building my patience for when we're pushing a stroller through massive crowds of oblivious, stupid people. When we're pushing a stroller though, I'm sure people won't be straining their necks to stare at us. It was kind of ridiculous. Maybe before, people stared too, and we just didn't realize it because we weren't staring at them to see how hard they stared. Ha that was long winded...but they really do. This one guy was in front of us, craning his neck backwards staring at Jason. Really? So many times I almost said "Excuse me? Can I help you with something?" or "What the f*ck are you looking at?" (I doubt I would've said that, but I was saying it in my head.) or "Did you have a question?" or "He stepped on a land mine for your right to do stupid shit like stare at him. You're welcome. Now turn around and keep walking." I still need that t-shirt.

By the end of the day I could tell he was getting irritated with the stares. I mean, it is human nature, and ironically I caught myself staring at another person in a wheelchair. I quickly looked away, thinking "Oh shit I'm one of the people I'm hating on right now!" People naturally look at a young guy in a wheel chair and wonder why that is. Then they see the mallet he has for a hand right now, and his PICC line, and then of course his nub. And then they stare at his nub for a very long time. Jason and I both stared them down, waiting for them to make eye contact again, just to make them feel uncomfortable. Their stares never made it back up above his waist before we passed by.

Anyway, he got a new pair of shoes - more his style. Unlike the sweet Army shoes he got donated. A couple t-shirts - he can wear real clothes now! Unless he gets hooked back up to the IV or PCA. And even then, I just disconnect it and reconnect it when we change shirts. I know, I know, but whatever :)

I got some more maternity clothes, and a couple onesies for baby. I couldn't resist. They're long sleeved thermal onesies - so cute.

We're excited for a visit from Craig, Brett, and baby Max tomorrow! Will be another fun day out, hopefully!