Jason texted around 9 which I thought was early to be done with surgery already. He told me he got bumped and wouldn't go until 11. I could picture how irritated he would be since he had been NPO since midnight...I knew he'd be starving, and being pushed farther and farther back would only make it worse. Fortunately (and unfortunately) he is no longer a trauma patient, and is now on the PM&R service (I can't remember the full meaning...but the R is for rehab - which is a good thing). So that means he's not as acute anymore either. I tried to explain to him that another trauma patient could come in at any time and need the OR more than he did. "Then why did I have to go NPO at midnight?!" Because unfortunately, you just never know what will happen, it's the nature of the beast. "That's genius." So, he was mad. And hungry. And in pain. I reminded him of the morphine push he could have, although at that point I think his pain had gotten to far out of control. He said he sat there in pain, and hungry for a while. They called me (which has never happened) around 1300 when I just got to his room expecting him to be back soon, and told me that he had just gone in to the OR. I knew he had to have been even more pissed then. So, I go off to get all the DMV bullshit paperwork notarized and mailed. I sit in his room and watch Ellen (on which I see an old high school friend as she practices with the New Orleans Saints...weird). Still no Jason. I start decluttering, or trying. He has two nice backpacks in the closet full of random stuff - clothes, notebooks, cards from students, etc. I stuff as much as I can in to those two bags and decide to go pick up some milk and take them back to the hotel room. I may be jumping the gun on his moving out process, but he has so much stuff in there it's ridiculous. As soon as I leave, he texts "where are you?!" of course, I just missed him. But by now it's 1630, and he just got back to his room, so I'm sure he's starving. I hurry back to the room (after changing out of my scrub pants which sadly aren't comfortable anymore) with his order of spicy purple doritos.
Things I learned in my long time alone today:
I want Cesar Millan to come train our dog (even though she's perfect in our eyes).
I really need more maternity clothes now. Like, I don't think I can fake it much longer.
I did not pack appropriately. Maybe I would have if I hadn't been pregnant and actively growing out of everything I packed. Ugh.
It was ungodly hot today.
I really hate it when things don't have homes. And, right now we have a lot of that going on. It makes my brain feel like it's oozing out of my ears when I think about it too much.
I really love being alone.
After he got back, his hand was killing him. He had been given a temporary nerve block in the OR I think because he said his whole arm was dead, but he could still feel pain in his fingers. Apparently when he goes off the trauma service and on to the PM&R service, he also goes off the pain service - so they can't be called anymore. I don't really understand this, but I don't push it too hard. He gets all the meds he missed earlier in the day, and also some immediate release oxy's. Doesn't work. Gets the Morphine push. Doesn't work. Gets a one time dose of OxyIR, which surprise! doesn't work. Now it's night shift and he's still in pain. Gets a one time dose of Morphine which doesn't work. Gets dose of PRN Morphine again, doesn't work. Gets the PRN OxyIR dose which doesn't really work either. Still in pain, and now irritated because he hates all these drugs being in his system. He's worried he's going to have weird side effects or hallucinations. Gets his night time cocktail which includes Lyrica now that they've switched that from Neruontin, OxySR, etc, and his favorite, Lovenox. After all those doses, it's still not touching his 9/10 almost making him cry hand pain, she comes in with Klonopin. Now, psych nursing was not my thing, but I do remember some of the drugs, and this was one of them. Psych drugs freak me out a little. Apparently this one can be used for nerve pain too. But she explained to him that it is a benzo and that it will pretty much knock him out. He's still worried about all the effects, especially now that he's had so much other pain medication, but decides to take it.
By the time I leave, he's very sleepy, and I hope he will get good rest. I told the nurse on the way out to bring him his OxyIR's every 4 hours no matter if he's asleep or not. (he agreed to that) I just hope it's better by tomorrow - usually his day of surgery pain is the worst...I know he really wants to get out of the hospital and move around. He said he has had a couple days where he hasn't been in pain, and was so happy.
He is shocked by how long this is taking, and I think reality is just now starting to set in about how long of a process this will really be. I don't think he realized he would be on all kinds of medications for a long, long time. He's scared that he's going to be in pain for the rest of his life. I don't think this will be the case, but then, how could I ever know. He's scared that he's going to turn in to a grumpy old man because he's just in pain all the time (I'm kind of scared for that too). His hand, though, will likely be a slow and painful rehabilitation process. He's physically tired from being in pain so much.
I see guys walking around all the time though, like nothing is bothering them. He stares at and examines their prosthetic legs like a teenage boy would look at boobs. He compares the different kinds, and can tell whether they've had an above the knee or below the knee amputation from the kind of prosthetic they have. So I think there's hope for a pain free life.
On my walk home (do you like how I'm calling this glorious Navy Lodge 'home'?!) for the past two nights there has been a herd of deer. I don't know if they come in herds or packs or what, but there was more than one, and that's all I care about. Last night I was only a couple feet from the hotel so I just bit my tongue and walked a little faster. Tonight, I was much farther away and they were all over it felt like. There were probably only 5, but still. They were crossing the road like no big deal, and right up in the front lawn of the Fisher Houses. It freaked me out. I do not like being that close to wildlife. Especially the kind that stop and stare at you like they're getting ready to charge. Deer are stupid, but you never know what they'll do...like cats...and that freaks me out. I called Jason. I figured he would know what to do. He didn't. There was no other way to go, so I ultimately just walked passed them again, praying to whoever that they wouldn't notice me. I went around to the back of the hotel this time though, but I was still way closer than I've ever wanted to be to a stupid deer.
Hopefully off to buy more maternity clothes tomorrow...I have to say, I do not like the gaining weight aspect of pregnancy. I do schedule all my doctors appointments for first thing in the morning so I weigh the least I will for the day in hopes that will make me feel a little better about it all :/ But, as much as I hate gaining weight, I can not seem to say no to the Boston Cream Donuts from Dunkin Donuts in the hospital. Ugh.
1 comment:
The surgery he had, was the skin grafting on his hand?
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