Friday, December 4, 2009

Army Wife Life

I knew what I was getting myself in to. I thought I did at least. This Army Wife stuff is hard! They always say, "You're marrying the Army, not your husband." Oh, so very true.

This will be a pity me blog, and I'll get over it, so if you don't want to hear about it, stop reading now :)

Jason just informed me that he has to pull 24 hour duty on Christmas day. I'm so very disappointed. Of course, with the way things have been going since we moved in together as far as the Army goes, I should have expected this.

First it was the fact that he wouldn't receive his BAH - housing allowance for living off post - we were pretty much depending on that money for our rent, and we'd pay for the other utilities out of pocket. But having that chunk of money paid for already was going to be a huge bonus. Oh, sorry, you can't get BAH. Why? Because you're you. No, not really (but that's what it feels like). It's because he's technically a 'single soldier'. Bull shit! He's engaged. But the Army doesn't care about engagements. And there is room for him in the barracks on post, so since he could live on post (since he's single) they won't pay him his housing allowance. Awesome.

Then it was "Well I'm still getting about $300 taken out of each pay check for access to the dining hall which I don't go to, maybe I can get that back." (BAS) Nope. You're single.

And now, after he called me at 8am this morning and said "I have duty today, not Monday, so I'll see you tomorrow." (Which totally ruins his weekend - he'll be sleeping most of the day tomorrow, and then it's Sunday and he has to go back to work!)

"You're one of only two single sergeants. You have duty Christmas day even though your passes got approved. Merry Christmas."

Ok, I know someone has to do it. But lately I just feel like the world is working against us. I keep telling myself that I have never wanted a courthouse marriage, that our wedding is only 6 months away, we'll survive until then, we may have to dip in to what little savings we (he) have to cover wedding expenses because I still don't have a job, that in the long run, years from now, these 6 months won't be that big of a deal, that it will all turn around one day and we'll get what we deserve...but I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now!!

I guess I'll have to quit moping about it and suck it up. It's just a date on the calendar, Christmas can be celebrated a day late or early. We'll get through it. We'll survive. But I just keep picturing him sitting in that building all alone on Christmas. I feel terrible. He always does people's dirty work. He always does favors for others knowing he won't get paid back. And he wonders why he always feels so defeated.

I always look around at my friends and see how wonderful their lives are - with their jobs and pay checks and families and friends all so close by - so I'm jealous. And feeling very much like throwing myself a pity party.

I am grateful he is home this Christmas. But, that might even make it worse. Knowing he's home, but still has to work, and I can't be with him (yet again) just plain sucks. No one should have to feel this way. And I know that when I start working, I'll have to work holidays as well...I guess we'll just have to start getting used to being apart on the holidays.

I suppose I've complained enough. Life goes on.

Merry Christmas! ha.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Love Dare...

I told Jason about this book, and we got it tonight. We're going to try it. Neither of us are religious in any way - so it should be interesting. But, I guess it can't hurt right??

I also decided, I'm going to try to blog about each day...maybe I'll get him to do the same...because I have a feeling the 20 lines they give you to reflect on in the book aren't going to be enough. Maybe for him...but I'm sure not for me...

Hopefully we can go through with it all...

Friday, October 9, 2009

Life update. Super boring.

So, I totally didn't blog the day after I posted the previous I said I would. However, no one noticed :) Which confirms my theory that no one actually reads this. That's okay, I'll write anyway, because I can't sleep, and I'm bored.


1. I have been a Colorado resident for approximately 3 weeks. It's fun so far. The weather is insane. When we got here it was beautiful and in the 80s for about 3 days, and then it snowed. It has since been up and down, and today it snowed again. It's supposed to continue through the weekend, so it should be interesting.

2. We DROVE to Colorado from Virginia. It took us 4 days. We decided to split up the driving to about 6 hours a day because I just can't handle much more than that. I had the GPS the whole time and so I was the navigator (because we had 2 cars and had to drive separately) - I was a tad nervous, especially when driving through the cities, but I got us here!! We stopped in Lexington, KY and there was nothing to see there. Then to St. Louis, MO - and we went to the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The tour was free, and at the end we each got 2 free beers. The next day we went to the Gateway Arch before getting on the road to Salina, KS. Boo. Kansas sucked. From there we drove to Colorado though. The mountains weren't visible until we literally arrived in Colorado Springs. It was crazy.

3. I am still unemployed. Unbelievable. I figured it would be difficult, but I didn't think there would seriously be NO job openings for New Grad RNs. And I mean none. Not even doctors offices are hiring. And who wants to work at a doctors office in the first place?! It's beyond frustrating for me. I've spent 6 years in college, and all this time just waiting to get this degree, and now I have it AND my license, and I can't get a job. All this time being supported by my parents who thought they were doing a good thing, that I'd have no trouble ever getting work. And here I am. Still unemployed. 25 years old, half way to 50, and I don't even have a CAREER. I am so ashamed of myself, it's utterly embarrassing. Ugh. I hate depending on others for money. Despise it.

See, the problem is this - New Grad RNs require SO much training and orientation. You can't just throw brand new out of school nurses on the floor...we'll kill someone. And there's so much protocol to know and learn, it's just too much. So they send you through orientation after orientation of all different units, and make you take all kinds of classes to learn all the shit they didn't teach you in nursing school (comforting right?), and finally put you with a preceptor (a more experienced nurse) and slowly unleash you on to the very ill and unknowing public...So, all this training equals lots and lots of money. Money apparently none of the hospitals are willing to shell out these days because of our awesome economy. (Because, didn't you know that getting sick and needing care was a business too?) So when people are like "Oh, you're an RN? Oh, you have a Bachelors?! Oh, you'll have NO problem getting a job."

Yeah. Eff you!

4. Jason and I are finally living together. After being apart our entire relationship, living together so far has been fun. Yes, I know the honeymoon phase...and sometimes I can already feel it fading, but I'm sure it hasn't totally worn off yet. He's all settled in at his new unit at Fort Carson, and he goes to work every day because he HAS a job. We finally got all our stuff this week, and by our, I really mean mine. He has 3 black boxes. That's it. Everyone keeps making fun of me for all the stuff I have, but our apartment would be empty if it was up to him. So, whatever! We have already started the horrible habit of eating out ALL THE TIME. We added up the amount we've spent on eating out alone (not including groceries) and lets just say - it's atrocious. So now we're really gonna try not to eat out as often...ha. Supposedly his unit isn't supposed to deploy for 3 years, so that's awesome. But we'll see if that actually holds true!

5. I made my mom a Facebook page. She hates it. She'll never get on it, but at least now she won't have an excuse for not staying up to date on everyones lives! She always wants me to print pictures and mail them to her. Ugh. She's so old school ;) I also got addicted to the stupid Facebook FarmVille game. Hey, it keeps me occupied during the long boring days I'm here alone.

6. I'm taking a class to get my NRP (Neonatal Resuscitation Program) Certification. The area I eventually want to work in, always requires that certification, so I figured since I have the time, I might as well get it out of the way. And hopefully in doing so, it might make me a tad more marketable...

7. Jason and I had our engagement pictures taken before we left for Colorado...of course, they're brilliant.

Our wonderful friend Liz Cook with Love & Laughter Photography took them. I never had any doubts that they would be great, but I didn't know how long we'd be taking pictures for! We were out there for like 4 hours! It's okay though, I always enjoy being the center of attention! haha soooo just kidding :) But I do get excited because she always makes me look good. Who doesn't like that?!

I think that's really all for now...if you know me, you probably already knew all that anyway. But, I hope if you didn't already know that, you feel much better knowing it now ;)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


I will blog.

I will update you (whoever you are - because I'm pretty sure no one reads this...but just in case you do...) on my life in the past few months...

And maybe I'll add some pictures too :)

Well. Now that I have something to look forward to doing tomorrow...maybe I won't be as tempted to go spend money...maybe...

Friday, June 12, 2009

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Remember this show? Animaniacs? I used to know the entire theme song.

Anyway: My news!

I PASSED MY STATE BOARDS! (huge scary test)
RN, BSN to be exact ;)

Holy Crap! Do they realize what they've done?!

Now for the job..........

Monday, June 8, 2009

He's home!!

I seriously can't get enough of him! When he walked off the plane, I didn't recognize him. We've been webcamming for so long - but it just didn't do him justice I guess. He didn't have his uniform on either, so it wasn't as easy to spot him. He has gotten huge. And not in a bad way! I guess that's what 3+ hours at the gym every day will do - and so we spent yesterday getting him all bigger clothes. Bummer, but you gotta do what you gotta do I guess :D

His hair is also long, and abundant. Ha. I've been watching him grow it out for a while now. He plays with it a lot, but again, the webcam didn't do it justice. I can't believe how long it is. When he's not in uniform - you'd never know he's in the Army. Except for that little tattoo on is right arm ;)

He's gone now - doing things I'm not supposed to know about I sucks! We've been apart for like 2 whole hours! haha, I suppose I'll survive. But here I sit, blogging, instead of studying for my big lisencure test like I'm supposed to be doing...


We're so in love, it's ridiculous. Yes, yes, people judge, but we have learned to just not care. Only we know the power of what we have together.

It's just so right.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Happy Memorial Day!

Jason is literally on his way out of Iraq today. How Ironic? I love it. I can't believe he's been gone for over a year. I can't even imagine how excited he is to leave. We've grown a lot, and together. I can't wait to be in his arms again. And when it will finally be our turn.

I am very proud of him - and he hates when I say that because he says that it's just his job - but he's very good at it. And I know, I could never, ever do what he does.

Love You, Sgt...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

with only 9 days left...

These are the loves of my life!

Jason affectionately calls us a tripod.
Nicole compares us to a 3 legged bar stool.
Beth thinks of a huge .... you know what.

And those are my friends.

We, who sit in Panera for hours "doing work". But are really Facebook tagging, hysterically laughing at last nights pictures and events, and making very profound statements about life, in general.

Nicole is the drama queen.

And she will say "aaalllright" when she reads that. But, she knows, deep down, that she really is dramatic. For example: She currently has gas pains, but is crouched over in the booth at Panera, and cannot speak words, clutching her abdomen, because she is in SO much pain. (it's just gas, Nicole) And we love her for every second of it, because it always brings a roaring laugh and long standing inside jokes. Nicole loves running to Enya, finding surprise pairs of jeans in the bottom of her closet, and using others as her daily planner.

Beth is the hugger...and all other things emotional.

She is very sensitive and lovey. She's starting to convert me in to a hugger as well. You can't not love her. Well, you could. But you'd be missing a very large piece of your heart that you didn't even know was there. Everything in life is laid out on the table with her around. Everyone knows exactly how each other feels because if we didn't, there would be a perplexed look on Beth's face until it was all ironed out. She is a lover of life and can't get enough of the Calorie Count toolbar, even though we force her to eat out constantly. She has coined the term "hugs & kisses lovey" and it has become very popular. She enjoys holding hands and long gazes in to your the point of uncomfort. To date, I think I've only made it a couple seconds.

I don't know what I contribute to this group. Other than my jokes that sometimes work, and sometimes don't, or my unintentional brutal honesty. Maybe I contribute the entertainment via Jason and the webcam.

Or the costumes and props for fun photo ops.

What I love most about us, is the fact that we are all so open with and are always learning new things about each other. All in all, if you could have three opposites, we are it.

We are the friends who video chat while we're away from each other, even when we are only right down the street!

People come in to your lives for a reason, a season, or

Monday, April 6, 2009

These are the things I daydream about...


Honestly, it stresses me out when I look around my apartment and see all the STUFF I have. I may or may not have inherited the packrat gene from my father, but I also have the purge gene from my mother. I've given away a whole bag of shoes and two trash bags full of clothes. You would never know it. Right now, I'm looking at my desk area. I'm realizing that the single, tiny file box will no longer cut it as I enter the 'real world'. I think it's time I beef up my filing system (but, quite frankly, I'm proud of myself for having a system at all!) I have a huge corner desk system - but I've decided I hate it. I love character - but I hate clutter. And I feel like everything on that desk is exposed. It needs a place.

And, I'm moving. So, I feel this is the perfet time to be purging. The only problem is, my dad will have a caniption. So really, everything I 'purge' will just go right back home with my parents. But, I certainly don't want to move it halfway across the country it hasn't seen the light of day in the two years I've lived here.

So, I'm moving - but I'm moving in with someone else - so that brings more STUFF! AHH!! I like this set up - if we were lucky enough to score a two-bedroom that we could use one for our 'office' (like either of us have office jobs - ha).

Ladder desks

And, quite frankly, there is still a little too much stuff here too. But it's a lot better than what I have now. Maybe it's just that it's more unified - I have a thing for color coordination when it comes to storage units. Unfortunately none of mine match, and it sends my OCD in to overdrive.

I need to go here.

Container Store: selling organization 1

I honestly don't think I could contain myself - no pun intended (haha)!

I am also obsessed with Planners. I want to buy them all throughout the year. But what's the point in that? I want to buy Jason one too, but I know he'll never use it. I think it's a guy thing. :(

Mike Rohde's Custom Moleskine Planner

I also have a problem with framing pictures and hanging them properly. I always see these cutesy frames in Target and wherever else and just have to buy them - but then I get home and they don't 'go' with anything, and I get more frustrated.

You know what it comes down to? I need an interior designer to follow me every time I move. Right now, I am in a typical mis-matched college apartment with hand-me-downs from who knows where. I love the mis-matched/vintage/retro whatever look - but I just can't seem to pull it off!

But guess what?
Jason has been in Iraq for an entire YEAR.
I'm finally graduating.


We'll be together.

In Colorado.

Loving each other!

Couple having fun on snowboard


Monday, February 2, 2009

525,600 Minutes...

How do you measure a year?

I had forgotten how much I love this song. It's so fitting for today. Our one year anniversary. It sounds so insignificant to everyone else's accomplishments. But we've been through a lot together. I am very grateful for him. I can't wait to start our own journey.

There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today

Both of these songs are beautiful. They bring tears to my eyes. As does our first year of struggle, happiness, and joy. I love you - always!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

This is where I spend my days...

Isn't it grand?

I'm doing my Capstone on the Mother-Baby unit here in Harrisonburg at RMH. For those of you who don't know what that entails - it's a lot. We are responsible for the care of the mother and the baby after the birth. This particular specialty requires that we give a LOT of education to these new mommies.

You would think they'd know it all - but I guess they forget really quick. Plus, in the medical world, stuff changes all the time! So, I'm learning too. Of course, the fun part is the babies, and I'm starting to realize I like that part maybe I should look in to NICU...which is what I was thinking all along.

I guess it gets old after a while. A lot of the 'seasoned' nurses there toss these babies around like they're nothin! Not really, but you know what I mean. They've been doing it for so long, its rediculious - they can put a diaper on perfectly, like you see in the commercials. But, I'm getting really good at that too. And swaddling. I can do that like a pro :)

So, on any given day, if you wonder where I am, I'm in the nursery. But usually during the day, the mommies want their they're not usually in the nursery. It is sad though, the dynamics that you see a lot. Unfortunate young girls who have ended up with this miracle that they don't even realize. It's frustrating.

I have baby fever so BAD. This does not help. But, I do get to see what life is like after pregnancy, and let me tell you, it's not pretty.

Sometimes I want to tell these 15 year olds "Yeah, I bet you weren't expecting all this when you were having sex." Sorry, but it's true. They just don't even know what it all entails until they're going through it. And I doubt if they enjoy it all that much.

Anyway. Just an update on what I've been up to.

So close to the end I can smell it...and it ain't just the baby poo!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

So Proud...again...

courtesy of

Isn't he just so handsome when he plays the guitar?! I think so too. He said he played a "sick solo" also, and that he "melted their faces off"! Who knows, maybe he'll be a big rock star one day! :)