We got the 2x4 he's had for a hand removed for good. We watched her throw the splint in the trash. Did you hear me? In. The. Trash. His left hand and arm are definitely very weak. You can even see his wrist bone because of all the atrophy. I'm sure he'll gain that strength back eventually. We're working on range of motion of the fingers. He got two pins out yesterday - he says the worst pain he's felt to date. It was pretty painful to watch him be in that much pain. He said he thought the doctor was joking when he pulled out the pliers. Apparently he'll never make a fist again with that hand. There was talk of bone grafting and possibly re doing one of the skin grafts. Frustrations. That will all be months from now though, if the healing hasn't gotten any better. Yippee more surgeries.
So we spent a lot of today doing wound care, and scraping the thick layer of dead skin off his hand. That is pretty foul. But I do enjoy doing it. Got a new splint for just the two fingers.
Then he got his first leg!
He stood up and walked back and forth and back and forth in the parallel bars. He was in awe the whole time I think, that he was walking. He said he was feeling some phantom pains. I would imagine so if you're standing, but you know you're not standing on your foot because it isn't there. I can't imagine how that feels - to be standing but can't feel the floor under you. It's definitely going to take some getting used to, although he thought he could just run right out of there. We went over to the PT room then, and did some more walking in the parallel bars. Side ways, backwards, forwards. Bob (our physical therapist) could tell he was itching to walk farther. He started around the track, but then started feeling some pain. It's hard to tell now whether or not it's normal pain or not normal pain. And I certainly don't know what's normal for them to be feeling at this stage. So PT keeps his leg for about a week and he'll gradually increase his time in it just for safety. I guess a lot of guys have gone home with their leg and worn it too much too soon and hurt themselves more. So it's probably a good thing because he'd probably be one of those guys.
Hopefully by the end of next week we'll have it in our possession. It was weird to see him walking again, that's for sure. And a true testament to how long this process will be.
I told Joe (his Occupational Therapist) he needs to get a baby doll with diapers so he can practice changing those :)
Just short of two months, and he's already walking. He's doing so great. I know he can't see it, he can't see the progress he's made. He's so very frustrated with the long drawn out process. And even now that he's an E6, he still has to call his squad leader every morning to check in like a private would have to do. We had to go to a brief this morning. Which was interrupted by a fire drill in which they said we had to evacuate. Great. And oh by the way you have to wait for the firefighters to carry you out because you can't go down the elevator in a wheelchair. I've never seen him look so depressed as he was in that moment. I can't imagine what he must have been feeling. A 25 year old man sitting in a wheelchair with his head down so far because he's embarrassed that he can't just walk down the stairs like everyone else, and has to be carried out instead. As if he hasn't gone through enough, lets just play Army a little more, jerks. They ended up not making us evacuate which is good because I was about to go express my feelings to someone with a high rank on their chest. Ha.
Overall a great day for progress here. But, still every night we lay in bed and wonder what we did to deserve this kind of life. He says "We're nice people. We've never done anything wrong. Why did this have to happen to us?!" I quite agree. Not how I pictured bringing a baby 'home'.
It's the little things you don't think about. Why would you? Like the freezing cold bathroom floor because we can't have rugs in there because the wheelchair wouldn't be able to go over them. Like how the handicapped access doors are locked, or don't work, or are very inconvenient.
I went to get a placard for parking my car here on base. "Ma'am your registration is expired." Yes, I know this. I explained what happened, and how in Colorado you have an extra month to renew it. "Well we can't give you one if it's expired." Oh, ok thanks for your help. Asshole. I mean really? What are the odds of that - 1 in 12 I guess that the month he gets hurt, is right when I need to renew that stupid thing. So now I've sent my paperwork twice, and I think we're just going to go ahead and send it all in a third time for his car, just to get it done and avoid any late fees.
Even if we only have three appointments in the morning, somehow we still manage to be out until at least 4pm every day. It's like a full time job, no lie. There is no way I could ever work and be here for him. This shit is all.day.long. And it is exhausting.
We are ready for it to be done. Ready to go back to Colorado. Ready to have our dog and our old life back.
I haven't been nesting. In fact, I haven't really been thinking about the baby at all, except to make sure he's still moving in there. And that makes me feel bad. Sometimes I still forget I'm pregnant. Until I see myself in the mirror of course. Oh, and I went back to the doctor yesterday, a different one, who said everything is measuring fine still, at 3cm and not dilated. Go back in another two weeks to make sure, and hopefully we won't have to do any more cervical lengths for a while.
So anyway, that makes me a little nervous. He's going to creep up on us pretty quickly I think, and then life will become that much more difficult. We have no clue for a name. He will be Searles, Male for a while probably...
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