Natalie: Month 1

Dear Natalie,

It's almost time for your two month post (you're six weeks old), and I debated doing them together, but I have some time while you're napping, and your brother is occupied with his iPad.

What a whirlwind your first month has been! Maybe not for you, but definitely for your father and I!

Mom Mom and Poppy were here for your first month, mostly to help with Cooper while we learned all about you, and how you like or don't like things.

What we have learned so far: you're very unpredictable, you still haven't found a schedule you like, you get overstimulated very easily, and then over tired, and then you just won't sleep, you do not like having a dirty diaper for long, you do love to be held, you like to be in the swing, you don't like to take milk from a bottle, though you're not a great breastfeeder either, you make every face under the sun when trying to pass gas or poop, you are awake more at night (still!), you do like baths, you will NOT take a pacifier, we are still praying you will find your thumb (you have a couple times, but not for long), and you're finally growing out of your newborn clothes.

I have been beyond stressed trying to figure out some sort of schedule for you. Probably very unnecessarily stressed, as I'm sure it will work itself out eventually. The hardest part is not comparing you to your brother. Even so, he wasn't on a schedule at six weeks. And I specifically remember him getting over tired and then screaming for what seemed like ever, too.

What Daddy and I have decided is that we aren't giving you enough time! You're still only six weeks old! The last two nights you've slept for 7hrs then 6hrs, so maybe we're turning a corner, although I'm not going to get my hopes up!

It sure makes going out a lot harder. Now, I'm afraid you'll get to overstimulated and then it will throw the whole day off. I know you'll get there eventually, and that I shouldn't rush this time, because I know I'll miss it when you're running around like your big brother!

Daddy says he is most excited to see what kind of personality you will have and if you will have curly hair like your brother (I doubt it!). We are biased, but you are the prettiest baby girl we've ever seen!

This one will be short since you don't do too much these days but eat, sleep, and cry!

Even still, we love you, our answered prayer!
xoxo

Natalie Jane

**Disclaimer - this is a birth story ya'll…**

June 8th, 2014

I woke up around 9am and went to the bathroom as usual. On the way, I noticed a little more than a trickle, but nothing like the gush I had experienced when my water broke with Cooper. So I told Jason, who wasn't sure either.

It was a Sunday, so we didn't have much planned - though I was scheduled to work that day. I had taken myself off the schedule the week before since they thought she was IUGR, and wanted me taking it a little more easy. I texted my L&D friends to ask their opinion on the matter - do I go in and get checked, or not? I was having no other signs of labor, and ya'll know how I wanted to try to have this baby naturally. PLUS we were only at 37.6 weeks! Way too early in my opinion. (since I have control of these things)

I hemmed and hawed over it all. day. We had no plan for Cooper since my parent's weren't here yet. Finally, we decided to all go in and just see what they said. I threw an overnight bag together for Cooper just in case I didn't come home. I had already thrown a bag together for us, but it wasn't my best packing job ever.

By now, it's around 1:30-2pm. Nap time. I picked an awesome time to decide to go in! My triage nurse was due the same day I was supposed to be (the 23rd) - and confirmed the fact that I had ruptured.

Now came the fun part. Remember, I work there. I know and work with everyone I was about to show all my goodies to.  So I was given my choice of nurses, midwives, doctors, labor & post partum rooms, and was admitted.  The midwife 'stripped my membranes' during my first cervical check, and said 'Well you were one, and I took you to about a three…' And I felt all two centimeters of that. There was scar tissue on my cervix that needed to be broken up, and it was not pleasant. But on we go...

Since I had probably been ruptured since 0900, I only had about an hour until they wanted to start some sort of augmentation. I was still showing no signs of labor on my own. Meanwhile, Jason and Cooper are still with me as I'm getting admitted, IV, labs, etc. Signs of nervousness are starting to show as Jason is pacing and trying to figure out what to do with our now napless and inquisitive two and a half year old. He was finding all the things not to touch in the room, and Jason was becoming increasingly stressed.

We went back and forth about child care for a long time. Mostly what it boiled down to was we didn't want to bother others with our crazy child. Finally we decided on a friend of mine from work (who wasn't working, thank goodness). They have a 1 year old little girl, and I was so nervous about Cooper being too rough with her, misbehaving, or not sleeping. I rattled off a list of last minute things for Jason to gather - but I knew he'd be too rushed and forget. I was telling myself over and over that it wasn't the end of the world, but ya'll know how I hate not being prepared! And I was totally not prepared. I mean, I was texting Katelyn about Jason forgetting his sippy cup…not a big deal…but it was to me! And I was mad that I forgot to pack a liner sock for Jason's prosthetic.

We also had a limited amount of time to drop Sadie off last minute at the boarding place. So I can just picture Jason coming home and running around with his heart racing. I know he hated leaving and was afraid that baby would come out any minute. He had to get all Sadie's food ready to go too. I was trying to do what I could from the hospital like arranging drop off for her and texting Katelyn with their ETA. I told him to get dinner on the way back, which he didn't want to do because he felt bad since I couldn't eat. Thankfully I had the wherewithal to know to eat before I went, just in case. Good thing I did! He inhaled Burger King before coming back up to my room.

Once he was back, the fun really began. They had started pitocin and we were going up by 2 every 20 minutes. I was on the birthing ball, with the external monitors on. Lots of cords and annoyances, for sure. Because I was on pitocin, I couldn't be intermittently monitored. Finally once we got up to 18-20mu of pit, I was feeling them pretty good. But by then it's getting to the point of having to have an internal monitor since the pitocin was getting so high. Before shift change (1830) they did another check and inserted an internal pressure catheter to monitor my contractions better. Still 3cm. Frustration.

New shift, new nurse, new midwife. Of which I knew them all of course. I continued with the birthing ball, the pitocin, and I was really starting to feel them. Got checked again around 11pm, still 3cm. We decided to try a pitocin rest for 2 hours; the thought being that it lets the receptors clear the pitocin, and then when you start it again it usually works faster and the contractions are stronger. She even let me eat in those two hours. I inhaled some cheez its, jello, graham crackers, and I think a soda. We totally didn't prepare enough to bring snacks and had a very minimal amount of vending machine change, so that's all I got. Afterwards I silently prayed I wouldn't puke it all up later. I still had to be intermittently monitored for those 2 hours, but in between I was in and out of the shower.

There's something about being in pain/labor, that makes you feel like you have to tense your entire body, and you can't move. And then when you add external monitors, blood pressure cuffs, pulse ox, and various catheters…hanging…it just all feels so unnatural, and you'd almost rather lay still than get up and move. Though when I did get up, it felt better. It was a mental struggle for me, for 12 hours, while I was unmedicated, to tell myself to relax. When I did relax through the contractions, it did feel better, but to tell yourself that every 2-3 minutes was exhausting. Something I'm sure I would have been better prepared for had I invested in a doula or just educated myself a little better. Hindsight is always 20/20! Jason was great about doing hip pressure, and it really helped. I don't know if it took my mind off the other pain, but it felt great.

When we restarted the pitocin around 1am I think is when we checked again…still 3cm…and inserted a fetal scalp electrode at the same time. THAT was weird. When she would move her head, I could feel the cord moving against my leg. So at this point, I knew my body wasn't relaxing enough to let this happen. I could feel myself tense every single time. Didn't help we were watching it on the monitor and knew when every one was coming. I was already debating the dreaded epidural. And I knew it would take a little while to get things going, so I didn't want to wait too long to decide. I had a gut feeling that I wasn't going to change much on my own, and I was nearing 12 hrs unmedicated, had been awake far too long, and was loosing patience. Here's where a doula would have been beneficial, probably. But, as it was, I decided to get the epidural. Sat up on the edge of the bed as if he would be in there the minute I said the word, and waited. And waited. And got increasingly irritated with the length of time it was taking him. I was trying so hard to keep my sailor mouth in check. I remember with each contraction thinking "I'm not going to make it through this…" and then it would end. And then another would come and I'd be on the verge of tears…"I can't do this!" I remember wanting to scream at the top of my lungs for that man to "Get your F*cking tool box and get the F*ck in here NOW." But! I controlled myself. Finally, it came.

Now we're at about 3am, and the awful numb feeling was here, but I was no longer in pain. Now, I was just worried about the baby not coming down far enough - all the checks had been the same, she was at -2 station the whole time - too high. "Tell me if you start feeling pressure" they said…they said all the same things last time too, and I never felt that pressure. She had me using the peanut ball between my legs, on my side. We rotated sides every 30 minutes which was a struggle with dead legs. Apparently this helps to open up the pelvis, and let the baby come down further. How, I don't know because I was still laying fairly flat. But, these girls know what they're doing so I was just the very compliant patient doing what I was told. ;)

While all this rotating was happening, I was watching I Love Lucy, Jason was asleep, and I tried to sleep, but was getting checked every 15 minutes so it was pretty hard. The whole time though, I was praying I was dilating and she was doing what she was supposed to before this next check. At 0445 she checked again, and we just crossed our fingers, silently praying there was some kind of change. I was hoping for at least a 5 or 6. It's only been about an hour and a half since the epidural, so I wasn't trying to get my hopes up. She said "Ok, I can live with that! Complete, Complete, zero station!" Oh, thank GOD! Wait! What? That happened in an hour?! Holy Shit this is happening!

Then my nurse says, "Ok I'm staying until you deliver!" Meaning she was going to stay over her shift to deliver this baby because it was pretty close to shift change again. I would never wish that on anyone, and definitely not when you're working nights! They decided to let me labor down for another hour, to see if she'd come down any further on her own (We did this with Cooper, too.) so it was decided that at 0545 I'd start pushing. I was feeling tiny amounts of pressure intermittently, but nothing that screamed to me that a baby could be falling out any minute.

I had a very last minute photographer coming, and she hadn't arrived by the time we were due to start pushing. A tiny voice inside of me said to tell them to wait until she got there, but I didn't say anything. I had emphasized to everyone that I pushed for 3 1/2 hrs with Cooper, and that he ended up being forceps. My nurse emphasized to me that she did NOT want me to be her first nurse delivery (where the babe comes before the provider can be in the room to deliver it). So the nurse came in and said we could start pushing, and that the midwife would be in shortly.

A very different picture than last time, just me, Jason and the nurse (I know all their names by the way, I just don't want to throw them out there like that ;)). I asked for a mirror because I like to know I'm pushing correctly. We lifted my heavy ass legs and I'm mentally preparing myself for a good couple of hours of pushing. I gave half a push and saw white and knew I needed to stop. I don't even know if Jason or my nurse was looking, but since I had the mirror, I saw it instantly. I said "Uhhh I think that's head!" And the chaos ensued. Jason tried to push the staff emergency button and I turned my head to tell him which one it was, I turned back around and her head was pretty much out. Meanwhile four more nurses were in the room, and finally the midwife. I didn't push any more. She just came out on her own.

At first, she looked so incredibly tiny! And then she started looking bigger and bigger when I thought about how she had just been scrunched up inside me. She was on my belly till the cord was cut, and then they took her to the warmer. I believe she was a bit stunned by the quick delivery, and she needed a bit of oxygen to get jump started. After that, she came back to me, and we made sure she really was a girl, and did the full head to toe assessment. She had a nice little groove all along the top of her head where she must have flew past my pelvic bone, but it was gone by the next day.

She was 6 pounds 9 ounces, 18 inches long. Born at 0555, and the photographer did indeed miss it. But she got there right after, and got some incredible shots. So thankful too, because we left our camera's memory card in the computer at home. Ten fingers, ten toes, and no penis!


My recovery was out of this world compared to last time. Now I can understand how some ladies come back pregnant within the year. Last time, Jason wasn't allowed near me for months. This time around, there was a different emotional connection I felt to him. Maybe because we were out here with no family support, really relying on each other to get through and share this huge moment in our lives together. Whatever it may be, we communicated so well over those couple of days, and got a lot accomplished! But, I was never swollen, didn't need any kind of repair, and didn't dread standing, sitting, or walking! The only pain I felt after delivery was the cramping, which still wasn't horrible. Definitely more noticeable than last time, but manageable.


It was an early morning delivery, so Monday felt extraordinarily long. She met all of mommies co workers who were on that day! We took naps as best we could, but as things are in hospitals, people were in and out all day.

We decided Jason would pick Cooper up and spend the night with him at home so he could be in his own bed, and so as to not burden others with him any longer. After visiting with me and meeting his baby sister, they both went home for the night. Jason said he was fairly restless, like he knew I wasn't there. He went to day care the next day and Jason came up as early as he could.

I spent the morning struggling with breastfeeding (again!). I was determined this time would be different, but alas!, it was not. Extreme pain from the very first latch. We decided she's just small, and her mouth is small, and she just wasn't opening wide enough. It was never an issue of not eating, it was more of an issue of getting a good latch. (2 weeks later, we're almost better…still tender, but nothing like last time!)

I took care of some administrative things like turning in my time card, and updating my HIPPA so I wouldn't be locked out of my account upon returning to work…you know, the things one would normally do after just having a baby at their workplace…

And we finally made our way home. A stop to fill out her birth certificate paperwork where we debated until the last second on her name. I was the one filling it out this time, so if she hates her name, I goes I'm the one to blame this time! We weren't totally convinced on it, but decided if we waited, we'd just stress over it more and more the longer we had to think about it. Another stop to pick up lunch, and some other necessary post partum items, and we were home! It felt weird coming home to a quiet house. Cooper wouldn't be up from his nap for another couple hours at day care. We learned early on not to interrupt this process! And, then we learned not to pick him up before he eats his snack there, because he gets really upset about that too. So we had a couple hours to relish in our new baby, at home, alone, before the chaos would ensue. And, relish we did!

We were at home for two days before mom mom and poppy arrived, and it was a glimpse in to our near future. It will be Zone defense once mom mom and poppy leave, that's for sure. The first night home was incredibly tough, she was up every hour for some reason. My milk was already in, and she was feeding fine, just A LOT. It made for a tough next day, but Jason was up with Cooper bright and early (for us) and entertained him all morning until mommy got her butt out of bed and moseyed on downstairs. He was so great. He played with Coop outside, made me eggs and brought them to me IN BED! I had a huge list titled "Before Baby Nesting" that only had about 3 things crossed off it since she came 2 weeks early. He started knocking things off that list left and right without me even asking. It was awesome.

Though I definitely feel like myself again much sooner than I did with Cooper, I am still finding myself in a little bit of a daze as the days go by, and she gets older by the second. I'm trying so hard to relish in every moment as she will probably complete our family. And I'm already trying to work out the logistics of daycare in my head - what time will I have to get up in order to drop two off and get to work in time. This sounds impossible, yet people do it all.the.time. Everyone says we will find a new routine, but it sounds pretty far off right now. How will Jason handle both of them while I'm at work all day. When will we find time for each other, will we come out of this on the other side still loving each other?!

Now, I'm rambling.

So, dear Natalie, we feel so blessed to have you in our lives. Mommy prayed for a sweet, healthy little girl, and someone heard her! Your timing, though early, was perfect. Daddy has the whole summer to spend time with you and get to know you before going back to school and studying hard this fall. Your mom mom already hopes you will give me a hard time like I gave her. I hope you are always content with your beautiful self, and life, and grow to be a wonderful person. Mommy, Daddy, and Cooper will be there for you every step of the way, we already love you so much!

xoxo

was it worth it?

We all know how much Facebook has affected our lives in one way or another. Tonight, while perusing the site as usual, 2nd Brigade 4th Infantry Division posted pictures of their HHC 1-67 AR Change of Responsibility ceremony. Yes, they have a Facebook page - who doesn't these days? And nice for all those families of units who are deployed because they get to see pictures of what's going on while their spouse is gone.

In case you've forgotten, this is the unit Jason deployed with to Afghanistan from Fort Carson. I quickly looked through the pictures, your ordinary military ceremony with the flags and such. They are currently deployed to Kuwait and should return this summer.

But here's the kicker…none of them are the same people that Jason deployed with almost 3 years ago. Again, in typical military fashion, most of the guys he was with, PCS'd around September after they returned. You can tell when it's PCS season in a military town. You can just feel it in the air, there are moving trucks on every street, and there's a bit of a lull at the birthing center as everyone comes and goes and gets settled.

So as I'm flipping through the pictures, I'm thinking, "None of these guys have any idea who Jason, or the other two guys who lost their legs for this unit (and country) are."

"The leadership doesn't even know."

"Everyone has gone their separate ways and all but forgotten."

"What was the point?"

I mean obviously, the point was not to have people remember him forever. And even more obviously, there are thousands more who sacrificed so much more.

But I can't help but wonder if it was really worth it.

I am grateful to live in the US, and Jason has received nothing but top notch care from the start of all this - though some believe military care is horrible, I strongly disagree, and will save that argument for another day!

But, almost three years later, am I allowed to wonder why? Because from what Jason tells me, he's fairly bitter about it all, too. Yes, he signed up for it, and he's fully aware of that. So am I. We've never asked for sympathy, just new legs.

He still gets stopped and thanked by strangers, and all I can think is "But do you really understand what we went through during recovery and learning a new normal?" When what I should be thinking is "How nice! Someone going out of their way to show their appreciation. It is rare these days!" So I just smile and answer "Yes he's in the military, yes he lost his leg in Afghanistan…" Then when he comes back, they thank him for his service and say something about how much of a hero he is or whathaveyou. And Jason almost always responds with "Eh it's no big deal, I was just doing my job!"

I hate that response. Yes, it's the truth, but it's so humble it makes me sick! I think sometimes he wishes he had a way cooler story than what actually happened, though I'm quite happy with how it turned out, because it could have been way worse.

This is a long winded way to say - what the hell were they doing over there anyway? What was the mission? Why have I waited three years to wonder this in such detail? Why did three guys need to lose a right leg and change their lives forever? Because the COP they were defending and clearing paths to, is closed now. No one even goes there anymore. So, why?

Does this mean either of us are against what everyone is there for? No. Jason is a honorable man, and will do any job he is asked, regardless of risk - very obviously. But, I might have a little bit of a harder time understanding this. When, in my job, one of the biggest ethos (I doubt I'm using that word in the correct context) is "First, do no harm…"

People lose limbs every day, as we've seen, so why should we be any different? We shouldn't. But when you lose a part of your body so traumatically, grieving still has to happen. We are clearly still going through it. Just the other night, right before falling asleep, he said "I still can't believe I'm missing a leg." While I'm over here thinking "Hm, I'm pretty used to it now, I guess." But I can be, because I'm not the one going through it. He is. He always will be. I get to forget about it. He can't.

And I still haven't figured out why.

thumbs up

Oh my, it's been so long!

I decided I needed to write this down, since this is becoming my baby book of sorts.

The past three days, I have done nothing but look at my son in awe of how fast he has grown and just how smart he is. It is incredible. I can barely put it in to words, but I will try.

For example, Jason informed me that they were grocery shopping, and he pointed out the pitas. Why would he even know what a pita is?! We never say that word, or have taught it to him. Insane.

He absorbs everything.
"Mommy has to do the dishes, bubby."
"Alright, I do dishes."
And he proceeds to pretend do his dishes in his kitchen. With a sponge and all.
What?! You do pretend play now?! You know what that IS?! How?!

And then, to top it off, he starts singing "Let it gooo…" from the movie Frozen. Which we've only seen twice. The first time was his first movie theater experience, probably a little too young, because we spent most of it going up and down the stairs, so how did he even remember that song!?

Tonight, while in the bath, he sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". I never sing that song. They must sing it at school. But geez. Blow me away again why don't you, son.

To all of you who are not parents and reading this, I'm sure you think I'm insane. I'm one of those crazy moms who is obsessed with her child. Maybe I am. Because I'm pretty sure he's the most amazing thing ever put on this planet.

And to think, I have another 'most amazing thing ever put on this planet' growing inside of me right now!

Just his personality, you guys, is out of control. Now we get the huge sighs and he throws his hands up…"Alllllllright" when asked to do something. Unbelievably cute. And we never do or say that. So insane how they form their own little teeny tiny personalities! He's only TWO! Two years of life, and there is so much character and charisma inside of his little tiny body!

He has OPINIONS! How can someone who has only been on this earth for two years have opinions? Someone who was helpless just a year ago?!

"Build Snowman on your phone, Mommy!"
(Mommy translates)
"You want to listen to the Snowman song on Mommy's phone?"
"Yeah!"
"Where did Anna go, Mommy? Anna go bye-bye?"
"I guess so."
"Let it go on phone, Mommy!" "Let it goooooooooo"

And at 0550 when we're getting ready for school on work days -
"No Mommy, I don't want ittttt" (Whining. Not my favorite character trait. But a very strong voice of opinion.)

And then -

"Call Mom Mom?"
"I'm coloring purple Mom Mom, see?" (As he moves the phone so she can see while they FaceTime.
Two year olds FaceTime. What?

I watch him walk around with very specific purpose. Answering our questions appropriately, and playing with such intent. I can't handle it. I beam on the inside, and sometimes on the outside too, because I just can't help but be so incredibly proud of how SMART he is!

He is so interactive, too. "Play cars, Mommy?" (Mommy strongly dislikes playing cars. It is not in her nature to want to play cars. Nor does she have the sound effects that apparently boys are born with.) "Ok bubby, let's play cars" "Here you go, Mommy, you play with this car."

Ugh, so considerate. So, so polite. I can't get enough. I want to live in these moments forever. When he's so little, and still looks at me with such love and adoration. I never want him to grow up and get married. The pure and genuine love in his eyes for his mom and dad at this time in his life, is incredible. My cup overflows!

Yes, more often than not, our days are difficult. They are laced with bribery which I can't say I'm proud of, but if it gets him to eat dinner, then so be it. Or gets him out of the tub without a fit, OK. Or gets him in his car seat without a wrestling match, I'm ok with that too.

On the days I'm exhausted, and want nothing more than for it to be bedtime, I hope I can remember these sweet blonde curls and thumb sucking snuggles won't last forever.

No matter how old he gets, who he marries, and where he ends up, I think I'll always see my baby, beaming at me from the bathtub as he sings twinkle twinkle…

Cooper: 2 Years

2 years!
Can you believe it?! I can't!

I thought zero to one was a big difference, but one to two felt even bigger. You have grown SO much!

Around 20 months, I got worried that you'd never actually talk. Even though everyone assured me you'd be fine, and you would wake up one day speaking sentences. I didn't believe them, and had a team of people come evaluate you. If nothing else, but to be sure I was doing everything I possibly could to help you along. Sure enough, they all decided you were right on track with your age and it would just be a matter of time. Well that time happened around Christmas. We went home this year, and all of the sudden you were repeating EVERYTHING! Putting words together, making sentences, and even making sense of what you were saying! You have opinions and wants, and are finally able to express them!

Now, I can't even list the words you can say because you can pretty much say them all with our help! Which means mommy needs to start watching her mouth…



You have finally started the attachment phase - I thought maybe we'd skip over that, and was really excited about it. But all of the sudden (again!) after our Christmas vacation, you started getting a lot more clingy when we have to leave you at daycare, or even when mommy or daddy just leaves the house. It's rather heartbreaking actually. At least for me. Luckily you don't let it affect your whole day, and quickly forget as soon as we're out of sight. I always said I'd never be that parent who hangs around and keeps hugging and kissing when you say "Mommy no bye bye" hugging my leg a little tighter. But I'm definitely that mom. A little piece of my heart breaks off each time I have to hear that little voice plead!

But you do love school, and we are so blessed in that we don't have to take you 5 days a week from open to close like some families do. It's just enough for me to feel ok leaving you there, and it's great for you! You can name all your friends there, and we talk about them all each morning we're getting ready to leave. You are really NOT a morning person, and when you have to go to school, unfortunately it's really early in the morning. So we talk about who we will play with that day and what friends we will see. Sometimes that helps you feel a little better about waking up and getting dressed. Sometimes nothing helps.

You have mastered the big boy cup, and eating with a spoon and fork. Although this still isn't always the cleanest skill of yours. Your baths continue to be very short since you insist on standing and splashing water everywhere but inside the tub. You love brushing your teeth at night, and reading books before bed. You are still a great 12 hr a night sleeper, so maybe soon we will try the transition to a toddler bed, although I'm not as excited about that as others think I should be.

We're still working on your expression of anger and frustration. Right now, it's hitting and throwing. It feels like we are speaking to a brick wall sometimes but again they all say 'one day it will click'. As a matter of fact, I got a compliment today on how I handle you which was a little shocking since sometimes it feels like it's all a lost cause.

We have been taking music class for a year now, and just this semester you've started expressing your opinions very strongly during class. So we've had at least two time outs per class so far. You're definitely challenging your mom and dad! But, I try to always remember your strengths, and hope this means one day you will grow in to a very driven and intelligent young man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go out and do what it takes to get it!

This might be a 'duh' for some people reading this, but I've found that being outside helps you a lot. Unfortunately our backyard is not conducive to you playing in it, so that's another reason we love when you go to school, because we know you get good outside time and no tv or iPad time. Hopefully soon we will have a real back yard for you!



You are totally a beach boy - as evidenced by this past summer. You would've stayed down there all day if we let you. You were fearless with the waves, and loved playing with and throwing the sand. We can't wait until we can take you every single summer!

You have gotten very attached to your 'Poppy' as you named him. You loved playing pool with him while we were home for Christmas. When we FaceTime with mom mom, you always ask for Poppy and say "Poppy! What are you doing Poppy!?"





We celebrated your 2nd birthday with Livvy, Ben, Micah, and Charlie at the Denver Aquarium you had a blast! You had a cupcake with blue frosting that night, and blew the candle out before we were even finished singing!

Mommy loves you, sweet boy. You continue to amaze us with your smarts and kind heart. You are giving and genuine and we can't wait to see what this year brings. Please stay little just a little while longer! 

 xoxo