Cooper: 2 Years

2 years!
Can you believe it?! I can't!

I thought zero to one was a big difference, but one to two felt even bigger. You have grown SO much!

Around 20 months, I got worried that you'd never actually talk. Even though everyone assured me you'd be fine, and you would wake up one day speaking sentences. I didn't believe them, and had a team of people come evaluate you. If nothing else, but to be sure I was doing everything I possibly could to help you along. Sure enough, they all decided you were right on track with your age and it would just be a matter of time. Well that time happened around Christmas. We went home this year, and all of the sudden you were repeating EVERYTHING! Putting words together, making sentences, and even making sense of what you were saying! You have opinions and wants, and are finally able to express them!

Now, I can't even list the words you can say because you can pretty much say them all with our help! Which means mommy needs to start watching her mouth…



You have finally started the attachment phase - I thought maybe we'd skip over that, and was really excited about it. But all of the sudden (again!) after our Christmas vacation, you started getting a lot more clingy when we have to leave you at daycare, or even when mommy or daddy just leaves the house. It's rather heartbreaking actually. At least for me. Luckily you don't let it affect your whole day, and quickly forget as soon as we're out of sight. I always said I'd never be that parent who hangs around and keeps hugging and kissing when you say "Mommy no bye bye" hugging my leg a little tighter. But I'm definitely that mom. A little piece of my heart breaks off each time I have to hear that little voice plead!

But you do love school, and we are so blessed in that we don't have to take you 5 days a week from open to close like some families do. It's just enough for me to feel ok leaving you there, and it's great for you! You can name all your friends there, and we talk about them all each morning we're getting ready to leave. You are really NOT a morning person, and when you have to go to school, unfortunately it's really early in the morning. So we talk about who we will play with that day and what friends we will see. Sometimes that helps you feel a little better about waking up and getting dressed. Sometimes nothing helps.

You have mastered the big boy cup, and eating with a spoon and fork. Although this still isn't always the cleanest skill of yours. Your baths continue to be very short since you insist on standing and splashing water everywhere but inside the tub. You love brushing your teeth at night, and reading books before bed. You are still a great 12 hr a night sleeper, so maybe soon we will try the transition to a toddler bed, although I'm not as excited about that as others think I should be.

We're still working on your expression of anger and frustration. Right now, it's hitting and throwing. It feels like we are speaking to a brick wall sometimes but again they all say 'one day it will click'. As a matter of fact, I got a compliment today on how I handle you which was a little shocking since sometimes it feels like it's all a lost cause.

We have been taking music class for a year now, and just this semester you've started expressing your opinions very strongly during class. So we've had at least two time outs per class so far. You're definitely challenging your mom and dad! But, I try to always remember your strengths, and hope this means one day you will grow in to a very driven and intelligent young man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go out and do what it takes to get it!

This might be a 'duh' for some people reading this, but I've found that being outside helps you a lot. Unfortunately our backyard is not conducive to you playing in it, so that's another reason we love when you go to school, because we know you get good outside time and no tv or iPad time. Hopefully soon we will have a real back yard for you!



You are totally a beach boy - as evidenced by this past summer. You would've stayed down there all day if we let you. You were fearless with the waves, and loved playing with and throwing the sand. We can't wait until we can take you every single summer!

You have gotten very attached to your 'Poppy' as you named him. You loved playing pool with him while we were home for Christmas. When we FaceTime with mom mom, you always ask for Poppy and say "Poppy! What are you doing Poppy!?"





We celebrated your 2nd birthday with Livvy, Ben, Micah, and Charlie at the Denver Aquarium you had a blast! You had a cupcake with blue frosting that night, and blew the candle out before we were even finished singing!

Mommy loves you, sweet boy. You continue to amaze us with your smarts and kind heart. You are giving and genuine and we can't wait to see what this year brings. Please stay little just a little while longer! 

 xoxo

Time Stops

In the midst of cleaning and organizing, but really making a bigger mess, I decided to stop and blog. While the mess sits. It has been a little while since I've updated. Though, there really aren't too many updates these days! We're just your run of the mill working family!

Anyway, I found these three things while going through stuff today. Every time I run across them, I kind of stop in my tracks and it all just flashes back to that moment. The moment my husband got blown up to be exact. Not the moment I learned about it, but the actual physical explosion. Because these items just make me wonder what it looked like exactly. I have played the actual event over and over in my head, but I will never really know what it looked like. He has told me multiple times, and in detail, but you know how peoples perceptions are. What I see when he tells the story is completely different than what actually happened, I'm sure!

So these three things, plus his bloodied wedding ring sat in that ziplock baggie on a shelf in our hospital room for the longest time. And now I find them in a box under our bed. He can't use the rank or nametape anymore because they're in multi cam and that's only for deployments. I'm not sure why the watch has sat in that box for two years though. What really made me stop today was the fact that this watch still works. The date is correct, and even the time is correct. How weird is that. A deployment to Afghanistan, a land mine explosion, two years later, and it's still going!

The baggie still has Afghanistan dirt and dust in it, and I will probably never get rid of it. For some reason, this tiny bag that contained all of his personal effects that day, is very special to me. It's so small. But the things inside of it say so much!

He wears his wedding right on his right hand now because he can't get it over his broken left ring finger. But I remember giving that to mom to have her clean it. I should have taken a picture of its condition first. One day I could look at it and think nothing of it, but other days it just says so much about all the events of that day - the blood, sweat, and tears our marriage would endure.

I could get really metaphorical here, but I think you'd rather me not.

I just cannot get over this watch. It's still going. And so are we. Strong.

Love him.

Warrior Open

September 26-28, 2013


We were so blessed to be invited back to this years Warrior Open! Again, they outdid themselves, and the experience was amazing. My parents drove to Texas to be with us this year, and Jason's dad came to stay with Cooper so we could truly enjoy ourselves. That was a lifesaver for sure. I'm pretty sure Cooper didn't even know we were gone.

There were quite a few returning guys, and Jason has quickly made friends over these past two years. It's exciting to go back now and see people you recognize. Since the George W. Bush Presidential Center opened, we ate dinner there the first night, and got to tour the museum. It was incredible and the food was delicious as usual!

We got to go back to President Bush's house for a chuck wagon supper again, which Jason was the most excited about because of the catfish.

He didn't play his best, but still played about the same, maybe 2 strokes better than last year. The competition got better this year though, so he placed further back. He's determined to practice more this year, and apply again for another chance to improve his game!

He had a course pro caddy this year; and he was a big help! He did a great job even though Jason felt like he let him down after bad shots. 

There is a Warrior Open display in the George W. Bush Presidential Center! 

We'll apply again for next year, and cross our fingers! 

2nd Alive Day

I can't believe it's been two years! It's flown by, for sure.

Two years ago, I was running around the house still in my scrubs from working the night before, and scribbling notes on different scraps of paper. I called CPT  Freeborg about 15 times that day, as it seemed like every hour I thought of new questions. I remember running last minute errands and it seemed like I was moving in slow motion and the world was spinning around me because no one had any idea what had just happened to our family. And I wanted them to know. I wanted everyone to know. And I wanted them to stop what they were doing and feel bad for me. But that's just not how the world works, now is it?!

During those nine months of continuous medical care at Walter Reed, we couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. We wondered what life would be like if we ever came back to Colorado. We thought we'd never get back here. We thought life as we knew it was over. And in a way, it was.

We had a new baby, which is life changing enough! He's now a toddler, and that's just a whole other blog.

But we made it. I don't know if there will ever be a time when we say "This is it. We're back to where we were before this all happened." Because there are so many new challenges that will never go away, but there are also so many new blessings that we never would have been able to experience had we not been given this fate.

There are still days where we are having a leg conversation - discussing the logistics of which leg to bring or wear, how many extra spectra socks, liners, gray socks, crutches, shower chairs, and how much alcohol in a spray bottle we should bring to wherever we may be traveling to - when I stop and look in on us having that conversation and think "wow, I can't even believe we're talking about this right now. I really miss your leg." He usually says "Yeah, I think that every single day." And then other days it's perfectly normal to us even though it's totally abnormal in our society.

I miss not having to worry about it. Looking back on what I worried about before seems so trivial now. Most recently, our first family summer trip to the beach. We did it, and we survived it with a toddler, but the added hassle of the leg was really irritating sometimes. He told me multiple times "Every time I see someone run straight in to the ocean, I get pissed." He only actually got in the ocean twice. But we figured out a great system. He just hates being a burden on everyone, and relying on others to help him.

When bipods go to the beach, they just walk in to the ocean.

(excuse my "mom ass")

When unipods go to the beach this is what happens:

  -take crutches down to water side
  -sit in a chair to take the leg & liner off.
  -carefully wrap liner in dry and sand free towel and keep in safe place
  -crutch (in sand) to water's edge
  -try not to fall while hopping on one leg and dodging waves
  -swim/hop/paddleboard in water
  -hop out and try not to fall while waves crash on you
  -crutch back up to chair (in sand)
  -rinse leg with fresh water and dry without touching sand
  -put leg back on

And then, at the end of the day, he had to take his leg completely apart and hose it all down and get all the sand out of the foot shell so the salt water wouldn't ruin it. This took at least 30 minutes every night because the foot shell is so hard to get off every time.



Pity me?
No.
Just don't take your two legs for granted while you're enjoying your summer vacation.
Did we enjoy ours?
Hell yes.

In two years, Jason has enrolled in college and is pursuing a degree in Physics. We have gone back and forth on whether or not to move back to the East coast soon or after he's done with his bachelors degree. The jury is still out on that one. He has gone from wanting to stay in the Army, to wanting to get out and go to school full time. A decision I was not okay with at first, but now we are all extremely excited for that day. Currently, he is still in the WTU at Fort Carson playing the game until they decide what disability ratings he deserves for his sacrifices. But we won't go there either.

Two years ago today, our world changed forever. Some things will always suck, and some things have been amazing. The opportunities we have been given are unbelievable, but at the end of the day it's still just us and our sweet boy at home. We still love each other the same or more than the day we got married, and I still go to bed with (most of) my husband every night. For that, I am forever grateful.

We know now that we can get through really hard situations together. We know it with only 3 years of marriage under our belt, because we've already done it once. And I know life will continue to throw us hardships and curveballs, but I only hope we can persevere and come out on the other side looking back with smiles on our faces and love in our hearts for one another just as we've done thus far.

Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, to those of you who continue to support us in this journey. Your kindness and generosity does not go unnoticed. We love you all! 

Cooper Months 13-18

Month 13

Dear sweet boy,

You are so smart! You are officially a walker now, and it's quickly becoming your preferred mode of transportation. Daddy thinks you look like a drunken sailor when you walk, because you are certainly still toddling, but I think it's cute. You love to climb on top of things, and fall off of them (on purpose!). Boxes are your favorite. You have a tunnel that you love crawling through and playing peek-a-boo in.

You are getting the hang of using your spoon and fork, but also enjoy feeding Sadie your meals. Every time you eat something you like, you say "mmmmMMMM!" I won't call that a word yet, but it's very clear when you like something.

You continue to amaze me with your independence, and how you love to entertain yourself. We've been going to a music class every Friday, and you are very musically inclined. The teachers have even said so. You're the youngest in your class, but still are able to clap or play an instrument along with the beat. Your favorite are the shaker eggs because they fit so perfectly in your little hands.

Diaper changes are still pretty miserable since you're getting so big and strong and love to twist away, poopy butt or not! Bath time is still a guaranteed way to put you in a better mood, and they're becoming more frequent now that you're an independent eater. You love smashing your food in your hair!

You are turning in to a little boy, and mommy's heart is so full of joy watching you grow, but I wish you could stay this little forever and ever!

xoxo

Month 14

I can't believe you're 14 months old! Your official first word was 'Uh-oh!' It started as the "ooo-ooo" sound, and it still sometimes is. It's my favorite when you say it like that, although you do know how to say it the 'proper' way now too. You love to drop (and by drop I mean purposely throw) things on the floor just to put that word in to use. It's SO HARD not to laugh, so most of the time, I do.

You are making lots of other sounds too, it seems like there's a new one each day. You're putting different sounds together and your Daddy always likes to pretend you're saying big words like "bobcat"and "chef boyardee". He's pretty sure you say "this", but I'm not convinced yet, although you do say it often.

You are starting to put things together - when I say "Let's go night night!" You wave bye bye and blow kisses to mom mom on Skype and then walk to the stairs and whine until I come. It's like you're excited to go to bed! You love to pretend to talk on the phone. You'll use our phones or the TV remote and say your version of hello, and laugh, and then hang up. When I say "Good Job, Cooper!" You immediately smile and clap your hands.

You point to the numbers on your placemat and love to count with Mommy. You are thriving in your music class, and know what to do with almost all of the instruments. Of course you don't sing the songs, or sit still and do the hand motions; you prefer to run in circles around the group. Occasionally you'll come give me a hug and then go back to finding trouble.

Your favorite foods these days are macaroni and cheese, any and every fruit, string and shredded cheese, yogurt, applesauce, chicken nuggets, spaghetti, quesadillas, goldfish (your dad things we should buy stock in goldfish), scrambled eggs, pancakes, and milk. I try and try and try to get you to eat any vegetables, but I haven't been very successful yet.

Your little personality is starting to shine through, and with all the character you have, the tantrums are showing up more and more. Mommy is going to have to invest in some parenting books because we want you to grow up to be kind and respectful instead of doing the wet noodle and screaming anytime we try to hold your hand as you walk.

Every day, I smile when I see how much you've grown and learned just over night. You make us so proud sweet boy!

mommy loves you
xoxo

Month 15

Cooper! You are a little boy! I'm not sure where my baby has gone!

You say HI!! and Uh Oh! and wave bye bye and MAA! and DAAA! and you speak a special, secret language to your pop pop.You love to give hugs, and you love to get kisses on your forehead. 

You love Patty Cake and the book Hands Hands Fingers Thumb and It's Time for Bed. Mommy knows both those books by heart.

You love to dance and sing and run around in circles! We still go to music class on Fridays, and you thrive there. Your teacher always says that you've found the microbeat when we're playing instruments.

You get compliments almost every single day. "He's the most animated baby I've ever seen!" "He's SO cute!" "Is he always this happy?"

You are a flirt, too. If there is a girl around, you're smiling and laughing and running around in circles. That's right, running. You run everywhere now. It's getting harder and harder to keep up!

You are very big in to mimicking now. It's probably one of my most favorite stages you've gone through. It's so fun to watch you process what we're doing, and then try it for yourself.

You still only have six teeth. We've been waiting for all the rest to join us for quite some time.

The other night you dove head first in to your bath with all your clothes on. The tub wasn't filling yet, and the water was still freezing. You just baptized yourself and started drinking it and playing in it like there was no problem.

You are constantly on the go. And I mean constantly. There are rare occasions where you will find a book and sit and look at it for a few minutes, but then you're quickly back up and running. You've learned how to drink your milk and then blow raspberries and drool it all down your face and shirt. It's not one of my most favorite things. You've also learned that you prefer to be independent. When it's time to hold mommy's hand, you do the limp noodle or just sit down right where we are and cry. And people stare. It's really quite entertaining.

Though you will definitely be a strong willed child, I am so proud of who you are when I see how much joy you bring to complete strangers lives. I hope you can continue to touch others lives because you were given a very special gift my sweet Cooper.

Mommy loves you!
xoxo

Month 16

As I type this, you're talking in your own language, and trying so hard to help me type! You love the computer, because we Skype so often with your grandparents. You're probably going to be some sort of computer genius :) Your favorite words are still "uh-oh" and "Hiiiii" We're still working on "mama" and "dada" - It seems like every day you make a new syllable but are still having a hard time forming those words! I can't decide if when you say mama you're directing it towards me, or if you just like that sound.

You are becoming quite the challenging toddler. We have introduced time-out, and you're not a fan. With it though, we've taught you to stay off Sadie's bed, and not to climb on coffee tables. The next challenge to overcome is the slapping you find entertaining, and also the throwing of the food on the floor. Both of those things creep right under mommy's skin, and my patience is wearing thin for that behavior!

You are Mr. Independent these days, and want no help with anything. But, if you're stuck, you demand help right away, and make sure everyone in the house can hear you. We've been told you're the most animated baby they've ever seen, and also the loudest. Mommy still thinks you're the sweetest.

You finally have a seventh tooth - a top molar. Currently, the other two front bottom teeth are making their way through which has left you in quite the mood lately. You love milk and water, and mommy even lets you have chocolate milk every now and then. Your eating habits aren't the greatest, and we're really struggling to get you to eat better. You love lunch meat and chicken nuggets, but still refuse most vegetables. Since you've been cutting these teeth though, you really haven't been eating much of anything.

You have gone from walking to running everywhere, and still aren't a morning person just like your parents. I struggle with getting you on more of a schedule since you're such a good sleeper, I hate waking you up. Your daddy insists I need to let you have a more set nap time and it needs to be earlier so that you're not a grump when I have to wake you up at 530 on my work days.

You continue to blow me away with your knowledge. It's amazing how much you're absorbing every day. I can't wait to hear you find your voice, and tell me all the great and wonderful things I know you're already imagining. I love you sweet boy, even when you challenge me, I love you oh so much!
xoxo

Month 17

Cooper!

You are growing up so fast!

This month you have started pointing and saying "ooooooo what's that? what's this?" over and over. You say "Uh-oh!" and hi. You can still sign milk, and we're working on please. You nod your head yes and shake it no, although I haven't heard you say those words yet. You understand direction very well, but sometimes you choose not to follow directions. We've introduced time outs, and while you hate more that we won't let you suck your thumb, you respond very well to them.

You're displaying a lot of emotion these days, and are becoming extremely strong willed! Temper tantrums happen often, but are very quick. You also love giving hugs and kisses, and I could get those from you all day every day.

You LOVE the water. Bath time and swim time. Any time. You love blowing bubbles, but it usually ends with water in your nose and a little aspiration probably, which freaks mommy out to no end. I'm so grateful you're not afraid of the water, but that also makes me very nervous. You have no reservations when it comes to running and jumping in to a pool. We'll need to get you in to swimming lessons SOON to ease my mind. Luckily, our community pool has a splash pad that you love. We love that we don't have to constantly hold you for fear of drowning. You can run around as much as you like, and we all love that it tires you out!

Boxes continue to be new and fun toys for you. Currently, we have a large one in the living room with a blanket over it that your daddy has labeled your 'fort'. You love it. You crawl in there, sit and read your books, and play so quietly. You still love night time, and nap time, and welcome sleep in your bed with open arms.

We've taken down the baby gate that went to the kitchen, so you've been exploring a new room, and love having more space to run. With that, came many many more time outs when we taught you to stay away from Sadie's crate and bowls. You still test those limits by looking right at us while putting one finger on her crate. If you're caught, it's always a time out.

Almost every day we say we can't believe how much you've grown. Your friend Drew was born in your 17th month of life, and I can't even remember you that tiny. It's so hard to explain to new mommies that in no time at all, you grew up and became this sweet handsome boy!

We can't wait for you to start talking more, I'm so anxious to hear and understand what you have to say! I hope we can help you learn to be a patient, caring boy. So far, I think you're doing fantastic!
I love you sweet boy!
mommy

Month 18 

Holy Cow! You've grown up! You're now officially a year and a half old. What happened? Just yesterday we were still swaddling you and patting your bottom to fall asleep. I swear.

Now, you're in to everything. And I mean everything. The trash can, the toilets, the drawers, the dog crate, the cabinets, and the dirt. You are a climber. You have gotten yourself on top of the kitchen table multiple times, and love to climb up on to the couch and chairs with us now, and then roll off on purpose. You said no to the high chair, and wanted to sit at the big table with us, so we got you a booster seat, which makes you look like an even bigger boy!

You can sign "more", "please", "all done", and "milk". You wave bye bye, and I think you say "bye bye guys!" every time. At least you say the same set of syllables every time, so I know you're saying something in your own language. You wave hi, also. "Uh oh" is still a big hit, and you do try to say "all done" or "all gone" also. A crowd pleaser is "Ohhh wow! What's that!?" And you say it at the top of your lungs. When everyone laughs, you put your hand over your mouth, crouch down, and laugh along with them. Along with the increased communication, the whining has also increased. I'd be lying if I said I couldn't live without that. Once you start learning more words, I anticipate that will subside. At least I hope so.

You are smarter than ever. You follow directions very well...when you choose to! I've lost count of the amount of time outs you've had, though. But you're learning every day. Learning what not to do and what is ok and allowed to do. For example, throwing toys in the trash can is not allowed. But throwing trash in the trash can is allowed. I know it's hard for you to know the difference right now, but we're getting there.

You are a little fish. You LOVE the water. You have no fear. You will put your face all the way in all by yourself, as well as each side of your face so your ears go under which is quite impressive for a child of your age. My guess is you like the sound or feeling of the water going in your ears. So far, no ear infections...Your newest love for the bath is bubbles! You eat them, and hide toys in them, and whine when they're all gone. You also always throw a fit when we take you out of the tub, which sometimes takes the joy out of giving you a bath.

You also almost always throw a fit when we put you in the car seat. A stand up, lock your legs, twist your body around, and hold on to the front of the car seat for dear life kind of fit. It's awful. It is miserable trying to get you in there sometimes! And you're not so gentle about getting your diaper changed either. Again, you love to twist your body around, and go up on to your hands while I still have your legs in one hand, if I've even been able to hold them that long.

If you fall asleep in the car near nap time, your naps are usually done for. Even if it's only for 15 minutes, you think you've slept for 3 hours, and it's all downhill from there. That makes it awfully hard for your mommy to leisurely shop these days. But that's ok, since we need to be saving for your college anyway!

The challenges aside, you're still a very sweet, and extremely handsome little boy. You still love to share hugs and kisses, and I'll never tire of those. Watching you grow and learn is the highlight of my every day. I can't wait to see how much you learn in the next 6 months!

I love you, sweet Cooper!
xoxo
Mommy