Army Wife Life

I knew what I was getting myself in to. I thought I did at least. This Army Wife stuff is hard! They always say, "You're marrying the Army, not your husband." Oh, so very true.

This will be a pity me blog, and I'll get over it, so if you don't want to hear about it, stop reading now :)

Jason just informed me that he has to pull 24 hour duty on Christmas day. I'm so very disappointed. Of course, with the way things have been going since we moved in together as far as the Army goes, I should have expected this.

First it was the fact that he wouldn't receive his BAH - housing allowance for living off post - we were pretty much depending on that money for our rent, and we'd pay for the other utilities out of pocket. But having that chunk of money paid for already was going to be a huge bonus. Oh, sorry, you can't get BAH. Why? Because you're you. No, not really (but that's what it feels like). It's because he's technically a 'single soldier'. Bull shit! He's engaged. But the Army doesn't care about engagements. And there is room for him in the barracks on post, so since he could live on post (since he's single) they won't pay him his housing allowance. Awesome.

Then it was "Well I'm still getting about $300 taken out of each pay check for access to the dining hall which I don't go to, maybe I can get that back." (BAS) Nope. You're single.

And now, after he called me at 8am this morning and said "I have duty today, not Monday, so I'll see you tomorrow." (Which totally ruins his weekend - he'll be sleeping most of the day tomorrow, and then it's Sunday and he has to go back to work!)

"You're one of only two single sergeants. You have duty Christmas day even though your passes got approved. Merry Christmas."

Ok, I know someone has to do it. But lately I just feel like the world is working against us. I keep telling myself that I have never wanted a courthouse marriage, that our wedding is only 6 months away, we'll survive until then, we may have to dip in to what little savings we (he) have to cover wedding expenses because I still don't have a job, that in the long run, years from now, these 6 months won't be that big of a deal, that it will all turn around one day and we'll get what we deserve...but I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now!!

I guess I'll have to quit moping about it and suck it up. It's just a date on the calendar, Christmas can be celebrated a day late or early. We'll get through it. We'll survive. But I just keep picturing him sitting in that building all alone on Christmas. I feel terrible. He always does people's dirty work. He always does favors for others knowing he won't get paid back. And he wonders why he always feels so defeated.

I always look around at my friends and see how wonderful their lives are - with their jobs and pay checks and families and friends all so close by - so I'm jealous. And feeling very much like throwing myself a pity party.

I am grateful he is home this Christmas. But, that might even make it worse. Knowing he's home, but still has to work, and I can't be with him (yet again) just plain sucks. No one should have to feel this way. And I know that when I start working, I'll have to work holidays as well...I guess we'll just have to start getting used to being apart on the holidays.

I suppose I've complained enough. Life goes on.

Merry Christmas! ha.

The Love Dare...

I told Jason about this book, and we got it tonight. We're going to try it. Neither of us are religious in any way - so it should be interesting. But, I guess it can't hurt right??

I also decided, I'm going to try to blog about each day...maybe I'll get him to do the same...because I have a feeling the 20 lines they give you to reflect on in the book aren't going to be enough. Maybe for him...but I'm sure not for me...

Hopefully we can go through with it all...

Life update. Super boring.

So, I totally didn't blog the day after I posted the previous post...like I said I would. However, no one noticed :) Which confirms my theory that no one actually reads this. That's okay, I'll write anyway, because I can't sleep, and I'm bored.

Updates...

1. I have been a Colorado resident for approximately 3 weeks. It's fun so far. The weather is insane. When we got here it was beautiful and in the 80s for about 3 days, and then it snowed. It has since been up and down, and today it snowed again. It's supposed to continue through the weekend, so it should be interesting.


2. We DROVE to Colorado from Virginia. It took us 4 days. We decided to split up the driving to about 6 hours a day because I just can't handle much more than that. I had the GPS the whole time and so I was the navigator (because we had 2 cars and had to drive separately) - I was a tad nervous, especially when driving through the cities, but I got us here!! We stopped in Lexington, KY and there was nothing to see there. Then to St. Louis, MO - and we went to the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The tour was free, and at the end we each got 2 free beers. The next day we went to the Gateway Arch before getting on the road to Salina, KS. Boo. Kansas sucked. From there we drove to Colorado though. The mountains weren't visible until we literally arrived in Colorado Springs. It was crazy.

3. I am still unemployed. Unbelievable. I figured it would be difficult, but I didn't think there would seriously be NO job openings for New Grad RNs. And I mean none. Not even doctors offices are hiring. And who wants to work at a doctors office in the first place?! It's beyond frustrating for me. I've spent 6 years in college, and all this time just waiting to get this degree, and now I have it AND my license, and I can't get a job. All this time being supported by my parents who thought they were doing a good thing, that I'd have no trouble ever getting work. And here I am. Still unemployed. 25 years old, half way to 50, and I don't even have a CAREER. I am so ashamed of myself, it's utterly embarrassing. Ugh. I hate depending on others for money. Despise it.

See, the problem is this - New Grad RNs require SO much training and orientation. You can't just throw brand new out of school nurses on the floor...we'll kill someone. And there's so much protocol to know and learn, it's just too much. So they send you through orientation after orientation of all different units, and make you take all kinds of classes to learn all the shit they didn't teach you in nursing school (comforting right?), and finally put you with a preceptor (a more experienced nurse) and slowly unleash you on to the very ill and unknowing public...So, all this training equals lots and lots of money. Money apparently none of the hospitals are willing to shell out these days because of our awesome economy. (Because, didn't you know that getting sick and needing care was a business too?) So when people are like "Oh, you're an RN? Oh, you have a Bachelors?! Oh, you'll have NO problem getting a job."

Yeah. Eff you!

4. Jason and I are finally living together. After being apart our entire relationship, living together so far has been fun. Yes, I know the honeymoon phase...and sometimes I can already feel it fading, but I'm sure it hasn't totally worn off yet. He's all settled in at his new unit at Fort Carson, and he goes to work every day because he HAS a job. We finally got all our stuff this week, and by our, I really mean mine. He has 3 black boxes. That's it. Everyone keeps making fun of me for all the stuff I have, but our apartment would be empty if it was up to him. So, whatever! We have already started the horrible habit of eating out ALL THE TIME. We added up the amount we've spent on eating out alone (not including groceries) and lets just say - it's atrocious. So now we're really gonna try not to eat out as often...ha. Supposedly his unit isn't supposed to deploy for 3 years, so that's awesome. But we'll see if that actually holds true!

5. I made my mom a Facebook page. She hates it. She'll never get on it, but at least now she won't have an excuse for not staying up to date on everyones lives! She always wants me to print pictures and mail them to her. Ugh. She's so old school ;) I also got addicted to the stupid Facebook FarmVille game. Hey, it keeps me occupied during the long boring days I'm here alone.

6. I'm taking a class to get my NRP (Neonatal Resuscitation Program) Certification. The area I eventually want to work in, always requires that certification, so I figured since I have the time, I might as well get it out of the way. And hopefully in doing so, it might make me a tad more marketable...

7. Jason and I had our engagement pictures taken before we left for Colorado...of course, they're brilliant.


Our wonderful friend Liz Cook with Love & Laughter Photography took them. I never had any doubts that they would be great, but I didn't know how long we'd be taking pictures for! We were out there for like 4 hours! It's okay though, I always enjoy being the center of attention! haha soooo just kidding :) But I do get excited because she always makes me look good. Who doesn't like that?!


I think that's really all for now...if you know me, you probably already knew all that anyway. But, I hope if you didn't already know that, you feel much better knowing it now ;)

Tomorrow...

I will blog.

I will update you (whoever you are - because I'm pretty sure no one reads this...but just in case you do...) on my life in the past few months...

And maybe I'll add some pictures too :)

Well. Now that I have something to look forward to doing tomorrow...maybe I won't be as tempted to go spend money...maybe...

Remember this show? Animaniacs? I used to know the entire theme song.

Anyway: My news!

I PASSED MY STATE BOARDS! (huge scary test)
I'M A REGISTERED NURSE!
RN, BSN to be exact ;)

Holy Crap! Do they realize what they've done?!

Now for the job..........