Natalie Months 4 & 5

Natty Girl,

These months are starting to fly! I can't believe you're already 5 months old! In the early days, I longed for these months. These are the fun months, I remembered. I was right, but I'm already missing how tiny and sweet you were.

You are actively reaching for toys and trying so hard to roll over, but haven't quite mastered that yet. You are starting to enjoy being on your tummy as well. We have finally figured out that you thrive on a schedule. Which is hard for your Mommy! Today, after sleeping 12hours at night, you went back to sleep at 9am and slept until 1:30pm when I had to wake you up! If you miss that morning nap, all bets are off and we pretty much are just winging it until bed time for you because you won't nap well after that. You don't stay asleep in the car seat if I want to run errands, either. You would rather look around and bat your long eyelashes at everyone you see while we are out! But, we are so grateful that you are sleeping better now! It was a rough first few months, for sure.

Your brother loves doting on you. He soothes you when you are crying, and reassures you that we are near by. He loves to help you play with your toys. He brings you things to hold and turns your music and lights on for you.

You continue to love your baths, talking to mommy & daddy, sleeping in the morning but not the evening, momma's milk, sucking your thumb, and the exersaucer! You continue to dislike playing by yourself for too long, laying down for too long, tummy time (sometimes), being startled by your brother (or dad), and tummy aches.

Different from your brother, you only seem to suck your thumb when putting yourself to sleep. Which is fine by me! It's amazing, actually, to watch you put yourself to sleep. As long as you're not over tired, you go to sleep almost instantly. You put your little arm up over your eyes, and the other thumb goes in your mouth, and you're out like a light! Incredible. All that stress in the first few months, that I was convinced would rub off on you and in turn make you a horrible sleeper, was all for naught.

I imagine this month you will master the skill of rolling over, and maybe cut a tooth or two? You've been chewing on your hands and more recently, your tongue.

Your daddy can't wait to see what you're going to look like, and what kind of personality you're going to have. I, on the other hand, can wait. I love this little tiny you - who plays so quietly on your play mat, doesn't move from where I put you down, and who doesn't crawl around eating all your brothers crumbs or dropped raisins (aka choking hazards). Please stay this size forever my sweet chubby cheeked girl.

We love you sweet girl, you are our blessing baby.
xoxo
mommy

Natalie Months 2 & 3

Dear sweet girl,

One of the first things I realized when I became a mommy of two, was how much less I cared about certain things. Not about you, no no. Baths, for example. Now I have to figure out how to manage your brother while bathing you, or vice versa. And, you are rarely dirty…so you get them once or twice a week. Your brother, maybe three times depending on how dirty or sweaty he is! I also care less about leaving you with your daddy. Meaning, I'm more relaxed about letting him feed you a bottle here and there if I'm out running errands and *gasp* I have to skip a feeding…I've been making myself leave more often because staying inside can make one go crazy! Though, getting out and doing takes much more effort than staying in and sitting, it is good for me, and in turn, good for our family.

Which brings me to my next point - after you were born, I'm pretty sure I went through some Post Partum Depression. Nothing like what you would hear about in the news (that's psychosis…and a whole different ball game) but the sitting in the same spot on the couch every day, nursing you for what felt like all day long, praying you would sleep but you wouldn't, etc. Well, frankly, it got old much faster this time around. And it made me wish for you to be older. Once I went back to work, I found a little bit of my old self again, and am happy to say, I believe I'm on the mend. I'm only working two days a week, and I am so grateful that we are able to do that.

Obviously, I'm busier with you than I was with your brother - because now there are two of you! And you both want my full attention all the time! Which is why you are almost four months old, and I'm just now writing about your second and third month.

In your second month - July - we did a lot of what I just described above. We sat on the couch and I nursed you. I desperately tried to get you on a schedule of some sort because I felt the clock ticking for  having to go back to work (though still weeks away). You refused any sort of schedule. You also refused to enjoy anything but being held by your mom or dad. You did start smiling, though.

In your third month - August - we went to the beach! You were baptized by Pastor Finck, who also baptized me, confirmed me, married your dad and I, and baptized your brother! You have two God Mommies, Krystal and Lisa. They are two of the most faithful people I know, and I can't wait for you to get to know them both. I think you enjoyed the beach, although you didn't have much to say about it this year. Your toes touched the Atlantic for the first time, and you cried because it was chilly. You were bathed in the sink at mom moms beach house. You also met your Grandpop and MiMi and your great grandparents from Philadelphia for the first time in Virginia. Your great grand mom made you a beautiful christening dress that I hope you can pass down to your daughter one day. You flew on a plane for the first time and slept the whole way!

You have been spending full days with daddy when I go to work and the first day was rough. Ever since then, though, you've behaved yourself for him for the most part. You are proving to be a little more high maintenance than your brother. But it should be that way, shouldn't it? You are a little princess, after all.

You have been sleeping "through the night" for a while now, I'm not sure when it started officially, because I wouldn't consider it through the night just yet. You sleep from about 7-8pm until 4-5am. And after a feeding, again until 8-9am. But, you wake up around 12-1am and start fussing, looking around for the pacifier that has long since fallen out of your mouth…and then I spend the rest of the early morning putting it back in, about every hour or so. Finally though, my dear girl, this week in fact, you have found your thumb. I could not be more excited, although I'm sure we will pay for it in dentist bills later. Until then, I believe it is an awesome coping mechanism, and I also believe it's why your brother is such a solid sleeper and self entertainer. Or maybe that's just his personality. Either way, today has been monumental in that you have taken three naps in your bed (!!) and for two of them, put yourself to sleep while sucking your thumb! Huge step! For the past three months you would take a long afternoon nap in the swing, and no where else. I even tried to move the swing upstairs so I could get things done downstairs without waking you, and you could tell you weren't around people…and would wake up after about 30 minutes, never to return to dreamland again. There were days when I really thought you would never reach the point of sleeping on your own, and that I would have to hold you until you were a teenager!

You love sitting up straight - and so you've enjoyed the Bumbo chair much more than your brother ever did. You'd much rather be watching everyone moving around the kitchen than laying under your play mat. You love to listen to mommy 'sing' even though my voice is horrible. You will be starting a baby music class next week hopefully!

Something I've been telling myself over and over, "don't wish these moments away" - because I know you will be a rambunctious 2.5 year old before I know it, and I will want to hold you and have you fall asleep on my chest one more time.

You may be high maintenance - and you may not be. I could be blowing it all out of proportion because having two at once is more stressful and I'm having a hard time balancing it all. But you still are our miracle baby. A baby girl I prayed for for so long. And you're here! And I want so badly to not mess anything up. I want our relationship to be strong and great, all the time. I want a baby girl who will be so confident but humble, and smart but kind and gentle. And so you may only be 3 months old, but I am already wishing the world for you. To have a life full of happiness and ease, filled with genuine people and love.

Everything about you is different from your brother, and that is just how it should be. I will constantly struggle with comparing the two of you, but I know deep down there is no comparison. You are both my sweet babies and I will love you both until I can't anymore.

Your dad and I love you to pieces cutie pie. You are a beautiful girl. (And your eyelashes are beautifully long right now!) In my opinion, perfect in every way possible!

Love you Natalie Jane
xoxo

The End of an Era

It happened! It's here! The time has finally come! 

Basic Training Graduation

Now, did I say it would happen while I'm on unpaid maternity leave? Yes. Did it happen that way? Yes. Is that our luck? Yes. (woe is me)

Probably a week after we got home with Natalie, Jason's PEBLO called with the news. His VA ratings hadn't changed, the Army ratings increased 20%, but nothing from the VA. They assured us we could submit claims after he gets out, and that is ratings will "definitely increase". But we won't be able to do that until he's out, and even then, who knows how long the process will take. You've seen the VA in the news lately…it seems nothing good comes out of that organization, and that's really scary!

So this is it, he's getting out!

Talk about scary.

He's on post picking up his clearing papers as I type this. Last night he said "Every time I've cleared a post, it's to go to another one…not to be done forever. This is scary."

It's amazing how something he's dreamt about for so long, probably since he was in basic (ha!), is finally here, exactly 10 years later, and now he's scared to leave it! I can understand, though. I believe the Army brainwashes these guys (especially infantry guys), and it becomes a crutch. They get so used to the routine, being treated like children, and the guaranteed pay, they don't even know where to start when they're out and have complete control of their lives. Jason has it mostly figured out by now, though. He's been through multiple chains of command at the WTU since he's been here 2.5 years waiting for this day, he's had plenty of time to figure out his life after the Army.

The plan stays the same: We will likely buy a house out here (once he's out and they will finally approve us for a loan), he will finish his bachelors degree (which right now he still wants to be in Physics), and then hopefully we will be able to move back East. I will stay at my current job which is one of the main reasons we're staying here for now, it's SO flexible with his school schedule and our daycare is on post which as a civilian, I still have access to. Now, if things could go as planned for the next few years, that would be awesome! But…we all know how that works.

What I'm most excited about is being able to pick up and go wherever, whenever we want! To be able to plan things and trips months in advance! What I'm not excited about? The giant pay cut we're about to take. So far, we've survived my unpaid maternity leave by just sitting at home and hardly eating out/ordering out at all. I'm rather impressed with us. We haven't had to dip in to our savings yet! But, he's still getting paid. Luckily, when he stops getting paid, I will have been back at work for about a month, so we should be OK financially. We will still take a pay cut,  even with me working, but we will survive! We are blessed that he will be able to go to school full time and not have to work because of the GI Bill, and we are blessed that I still won't have to work full time.

Because Jason is in the WTU, he gets the privilege of being put in the lowest financial category for daycare, meaning what we pay is out of this world cheap right now. Once he's out, it's based on income, so I'm hoping it's not too crazy expensive - especially since it will be doubled! I was thinking of keeping Natalie out of daycare a little longer since Jason will have the freedom to stay at home with her while I work.

So, there you have it. Almost three years after he was injured, he is finally getting out. All that waiting and we still didn't get the results we hoped for. We will still have to fight hard once he's out, or he'll likely get lost in the system. At first, it felt like I had been punched in the gut - of course all this would happen now. We just had another major life change with this second baby, why not throw this on top of it. But now that I've had some time to process it all, it will certainly work out. Maybe not as awesome as we had hoped - at least not yet - but the timing really couldn't have been better. He'll be out before he starts school again which means he has the rest of the summer to clear, out process, tie up loose ends, last minute doctor appointments, etc. We'll be able to go on our beach vacation with no worries about leave since he'll already be on terminal leave. And then he'll come home, and start school without having to worry about calling his squad leader every morning to 'check in' and still go to PT and pull duty throughout the semester.

I am so excited for him. This is a huge step! He is handling all this change and responsibility so well! His main concern has always been us, and how he will support his family, which I am so, so grateful for. I've loved him for almost as long as we've been together, he's always been so considerate of me and my feelings, but I love him even more now. After all he's been through, he's coming out on the other side shining even brighter than he did in the Army. He's not letting any of this get him down, he's not milking the system, he's so humble and undeserving, and still so driven and even more motivated now than before.

It will be surreal, I'm sure.  A life without the Army. Many people at the WTU have asked him to work there, to be a staff NCO, or work there as a civilian after he's out. I always thought he should be a prosthetist since he knows a lot about it now, and likes to work with his hands. He said no. "It's already a huge part of my life. I don't want it to be my job, too." He has always said he wants to get as far away from the Army as possible. Unfortunately, now, it will always be a very real, and very obvious part of his life. A story he will tell often as our kids grow older and more curious, as their friends ask about it, and any new friends we should make along the way.

Cooper notices his missing middle finger more than his leg right now. "What happened your finger, Daddy?" while pointing to it. "You got hurt?" "Yes, bubby, my finger got hurt."

If that's all he notices, because his daddy can do pretty much anything other daddy can do, I'd say we're in good shape!

10 years later

Natalie: Month 1

Dear Natalie,

It's almost time for your two month post (you're six weeks old), and I debated doing them together, but I have some time while you're napping, and your brother is occupied with his iPad.

What a whirlwind your first month has been! Maybe not for you, but definitely for your father and I!

Mom Mom and Poppy were here for your first month, mostly to help with Cooper while we learned all about you, and how you like or don't like things.

What we have learned so far: you're very unpredictable, you still haven't found a schedule you like, you get overstimulated very easily, and then over tired, and then you just won't sleep, you do not like having a dirty diaper for long, you do love to be held, you like to be in the swing, you don't like to take milk from a bottle, though you're not a great breastfeeder either, you make every face under the sun when trying to pass gas or poop, you are awake more at night (still!), you do like baths, you will NOT take a pacifier, we are still praying you will find your thumb (you have a couple times, but not for long), and you're finally growing out of your newborn clothes.

I have been beyond stressed trying to figure out some sort of schedule for you. Probably very unnecessarily stressed, as I'm sure it will work itself out eventually. The hardest part is not comparing you to your brother. Even so, he wasn't on a schedule at six weeks. And I specifically remember him getting over tired and then screaming for what seemed like ever, too.

What Daddy and I have decided is that we aren't giving you enough time! You're still only six weeks old! The last two nights you've slept for 7hrs then 6hrs, so maybe we're turning a corner, although I'm not going to get my hopes up!

It sure makes going out a lot harder. Now, I'm afraid you'll get to overstimulated and then it will throw the whole day off. I know you'll get there eventually, and that I shouldn't rush this time, because I know I'll miss it when you're running around like your big brother!

Daddy says he is most excited to see what kind of personality you will have and if you will have curly hair like your brother (I doubt it!). We are biased, but you are the prettiest baby girl we've ever seen!

This one will be short since you don't do too much these days but eat, sleep, and cry!

Even still, we love you, our answered prayer!
xoxo

Natalie Jane

**Disclaimer - this is a birth story ya'll…**

June 8th, 2014

I woke up around 9am and went to the bathroom as usual. On the way, I noticed a little more than a trickle, but nothing like the gush I had experienced when my water broke with Cooper. So I told Jason, who wasn't sure either.

It was a Sunday, so we didn't have much planned - though I was scheduled to work that day. I had taken myself off the schedule the week before since they thought she was IUGR, and wanted me taking it a little more easy. I texted my L&D friends to ask their opinion on the matter - do I go in and get checked, or not? I was having no other signs of labor, and ya'll know how I wanted to try to have this baby naturally. PLUS we were only at 37.6 weeks! Way too early in my opinion. (since I have control of these things)

I hemmed and hawed over it all. day. We had no plan for Cooper since my parent's weren't here yet. Finally, we decided to all go in and just see what they said. I threw an overnight bag together for Cooper just in case I didn't come home. I had already thrown a bag together for us, but it wasn't my best packing job ever.

By now, it's around 1:30-2pm. Nap time. I picked an awesome time to decide to go in! My triage nurse was due the same day I was supposed to be (the 23rd) - and confirmed the fact that I had ruptured.

Now came the fun part. Remember, I work there. I know and work with everyone I was about to show all my goodies to.  So I was given my choice of nurses, midwives, doctors, labor & post partum rooms, and was admitted.  The midwife 'stripped my membranes' during my first cervical check, and said 'Well you were one, and I took you to about a three…' And I felt all two centimeters of that. There was scar tissue on my cervix that needed to be broken up, and it was not pleasant. But on we go...

Since I had probably been ruptured since 0900, I only had about an hour until they wanted to start some sort of augmentation. I was still showing no signs of labor on my own. Meanwhile, Jason and Cooper are still with me as I'm getting admitted, IV, labs, etc. Signs of nervousness are starting to show as Jason is pacing and trying to figure out what to do with our now napless and inquisitive two and a half year old. He was finding all the things not to touch in the room, and Jason was becoming increasingly stressed.

We went back and forth about child care for a long time. Mostly what it boiled down to was we didn't want to bother others with our crazy child. Finally we decided on a friend of mine from work (who wasn't working, thank goodness). They have a 1 year old little girl, and I was so nervous about Cooper being too rough with her, misbehaving, or not sleeping. I rattled off a list of last minute things for Jason to gather - but I knew he'd be too rushed and forget. I was telling myself over and over that it wasn't the end of the world, but ya'll know how I hate not being prepared! And I was totally not prepared. I mean, I was texting Katelyn about Jason forgetting his sippy cup…not a big deal…but it was to me! And I was mad that I forgot to pack a liner sock for Jason's prosthetic.

We also had a limited amount of time to drop Sadie off last minute at the boarding place. So I can just picture Jason coming home and running around with his heart racing. I know he hated leaving and was afraid that baby would come out any minute. He had to get all Sadie's food ready to go too. I was trying to do what I could from the hospital like arranging drop off for her and texting Katelyn with their ETA. I told him to get dinner on the way back, which he didn't want to do because he felt bad since I couldn't eat. Thankfully I had the wherewithal to know to eat before I went, just in case. Good thing I did! He inhaled Burger King before coming back up to my room.

Once he was back, the fun really began. They had started pitocin and we were going up by 2 every 20 minutes. I was on the birthing ball, with the external monitors on. Lots of cords and annoyances, for sure. Because I was on pitocin, I couldn't be intermittently monitored. Finally once we got up to 18-20mu of pit, I was feeling them pretty good. But by then it's getting to the point of having to have an internal monitor since the pitocin was getting so high. Before shift change (1830) they did another check and inserted an internal pressure catheter to monitor my contractions better. Still 3cm. Frustration.

New shift, new nurse, new midwife. Of which I knew them all of course. I continued with the birthing ball, the pitocin, and I was really starting to feel them. Got checked again around 11pm, still 3cm. We decided to try a pitocin rest for 2 hours; the thought being that it lets the receptors clear the pitocin, and then when you start it again it usually works faster and the contractions are stronger. She even let me eat in those two hours. I inhaled some cheez its, jello, graham crackers, and I think a soda. We totally didn't prepare enough to bring snacks and had a very minimal amount of vending machine change, so that's all I got. Afterwards I silently prayed I wouldn't puke it all up later. I still had to be intermittently monitored for those 2 hours, but in between I was in and out of the shower.

There's something about being in pain/labor, that makes you feel like you have to tense your entire body, and you can't move. And then when you add external monitors, blood pressure cuffs, pulse ox, and various catheters…hanging…it just all feels so unnatural, and you'd almost rather lay still than get up and move. Though when I did get up, it felt better. It was a mental struggle for me, for 12 hours, while I was unmedicated, to tell myself to relax. When I did relax through the contractions, it did feel better, but to tell yourself that every 2-3 minutes was exhausting. Something I'm sure I would have been better prepared for had I invested in a doula or just educated myself a little better. Hindsight is always 20/20! Jason was great about doing hip pressure, and it really helped. I don't know if it took my mind off the other pain, but it felt great.

When we restarted the pitocin around 1am I think is when we checked again…still 3cm…and inserted a fetal scalp electrode at the same time. THAT was weird. When she would move her head, I could feel the cord moving against my leg. So at this point, I knew my body wasn't relaxing enough to let this happen. I could feel myself tense every single time. Didn't help we were watching it on the monitor and knew when every one was coming. I was already debating the dreaded epidural. And I knew it would take a little while to get things going, so I didn't want to wait too long to decide. I had a gut feeling that I wasn't going to change much on my own, and I was nearing 12 hrs unmedicated, had been awake far too long, and was loosing patience. Here's where a doula would have been beneficial, probably. But, as it was, I decided to get the epidural. Sat up on the edge of the bed as if he would be in there the minute I said the word, and waited. And waited. And got increasingly irritated with the length of time it was taking him. I was trying so hard to keep my sailor mouth in check. I remember with each contraction thinking "I'm not going to make it through this…" and then it would end. And then another would come and I'd be on the verge of tears…"I can't do this!" I remember wanting to scream at the top of my lungs for that man to "Get your F*cking tool box and get the F*ck in here NOW." But! I controlled myself. Finally, it came.

Now we're at about 3am, and the awful numb feeling was here, but I was no longer in pain. Now, I was just worried about the baby not coming down far enough - all the checks had been the same, she was at -2 station the whole time - too high. "Tell me if you start feeling pressure" they said…they said all the same things last time too, and I never felt that pressure. She had me using the peanut ball between my legs, on my side. We rotated sides every 30 minutes which was a struggle with dead legs. Apparently this helps to open up the pelvis, and let the baby come down further. How, I don't know because I was still laying fairly flat. But, these girls know what they're doing so I was just the very compliant patient doing what I was told. ;)

While all this rotating was happening, I was watching I Love Lucy, Jason was asleep, and I tried to sleep, but was getting checked every 15 minutes so it was pretty hard. The whole time though, I was praying I was dilating and she was doing what she was supposed to before this next check. At 0445 she checked again, and we just crossed our fingers, silently praying there was some kind of change. I was hoping for at least a 5 or 6. It's only been about an hour and a half since the epidural, so I wasn't trying to get my hopes up. She said "Ok, I can live with that! Complete, Complete, zero station!" Oh, thank GOD! Wait! What? That happened in an hour?! Holy Shit this is happening!

Then my nurse says, "Ok I'm staying until you deliver!" Meaning she was going to stay over her shift to deliver this baby because it was pretty close to shift change again. I would never wish that on anyone, and definitely not when you're working nights! They decided to let me labor down for another hour, to see if she'd come down any further on her own (We did this with Cooper, too.) so it was decided that at 0545 I'd start pushing. I was feeling tiny amounts of pressure intermittently, but nothing that screamed to me that a baby could be falling out any minute.

I had a very last minute photographer coming, and she hadn't arrived by the time we were due to start pushing. A tiny voice inside of me said to tell them to wait until she got there, but I didn't say anything. I had emphasized to everyone that I pushed for 3 1/2 hrs with Cooper, and that he ended up being forceps. My nurse emphasized to me that she did NOT want me to be her first nurse delivery (where the babe comes before the provider can be in the room to deliver it). So the nurse came in and said we could start pushing, and that the midwife would be in shortly.

A very different picture than last time, just me, Jason and the nurse (I know all their names by the way, I just don't want to throw them out there like that ;)). I asked for a mirror because I like to know I'm pushing correctly. We lifted my heavy ass legs and I'm mentally preparing myself for a good couple of hours of pushing. I gave half a push and saw white and knew I needed to stop. I don't even know if Jason or my nurse was looking, but since I had the mirror, I saw it instantly. I said "Uhhh I think that's head!" And the chaos ensued. Jason tried to push the staff emergency button and I turned my head to tell him which one it was, I turned back around and her head was pretty much out. Meanwhile four more nurses were in the room, and finally the midwife. I didn't push any more. She just came out on her own.

At first, she looked so incredibly tiny! And then she started looking bigger and bigger when I thought about how she had just been scrunched up inside me. She was on my belly till the cord was cut, and then they took her to the warmer. I believe she was a bit stunned by the quick delivery, and she needed a bit of oxygen to get jump started. After that, she came back to me, and we made sure she really was a girl, and did the full head to toe assessment. She had a nice little groove all along the top of her head where she must have flew past my pelvic bone, but it was gone by the next day.

She was 6 pounds 9 ounces, 18 inches long. Born at 0555, and the photographer did indeed miss it. But she got there right after, and got some incredible shots. So thankful too, because we left our camera's memory card in the computer at home. Ten fingers, ten toes, and no penis!


My recovery was out of this world compared to last time. Now I can understand how some ladies come back pregnant within the year. Last time, Jason wasn't allowed near me for months. This time around, there was a different emotional connection I felt to him. Maybe because we were out here with no family support, really relying on each other to get through and share this huge moment in our lives together. Whatever it may be, we communicated so well over those couple of days, and got a lot accomplished! But, I was never swollen, didn't need any kind of repair, and didn't dread standing, sitting, or walking! The only pain I felt after delivery was the cramping, which still wasn't horrible. Definitely more noticeable than last time, but manageable.


It was an early morning delivery, so Monday felt extraordinarily long. She met all of mommies co workers who were on that day! We took naps as best we could, but as things are in hospitals, people were in and out all day.

We decided Jason would pick Cooper up and spend the night with him at home so he could be in his own bed, and so as to not burden others with him any longer. After visiting with me and meeting his baby sister, they both went home for the night. Jason said he was fairly restless, like he knew I wasn't there. He went to day care the next day and Jason came up as early as he could.

I spent the morning struggling with breastfeeding (again!). I was determined this time would be different, but alas!, it was not. Extreme pain from the very first latch. We decided she's just small, and her mouth is small, and she just wasn't opening wide enough. It was never an issue of not eating, it was more of an issue of getting a good latch. (2 weeks later, we're almost better…still tender, but nothing like last time!)

I took care of some administrative things like turning in my time card, and updating my HIPPA so I wouldn't be locked out of my account upon returning to work…you know, the things one would normally do after just having a baby at their workplace…

And we finally made our way home. A stop to fill out her birth certificate paperwork where we debated until the last second on her name. I was the one filling it out this time, so if she hates her name, I goes I'm the one to blame this time! We weren't totally convinced on it, but decided if we waited, we'd just stress over it more and more the longer we had to think about it. Another stop to pick up lunch, and some other necessary post partum items, and we were home! It felt weird coming home to a quiet house. Cooper wouldn't be up from his nap for another couple hours at day care. We learned early on not to interrupt this process! And, then we learned not to pick him up before he eats his snack there, because he gets really upset about that too. So we had a couple hours to relish in our new baby, at home, alone, before the chaos would ensue. And, relish we did!

We were at home for two days before mom mom and poppy arrived, and it was a glimpse in to our near future. It will be Zone defense once mom mom and poppy leave, that's for sure. The first night home was incredibly tough, she was up every hour for some reason. My milk was already in, and she was feeding fine, just A LOT. It made for a tough next day, but Jason was up with Cooper bright and early (for us) and entertained him all morning until mommy got her butt out of bed and moseyed on downstairs. He was so great. He played with Coop outside, made me eggs and brought them to me IN BED! I had a huge list titled "Before Baby Nesting" that only had about 3 things crossed off it since she came 2 weeks early. He started knocking things off that list left and right without me even asking. It was awesome.

Though I definitely feel like myself again much sooner than I did with Cooper, I am still finding myself in a little bit of a daze as the days go by, and she gets older by the second. I'm trying so hard to relish in every moment as she will probably complete our family. And I'm already trying to work out the logistics of daycare in my head - what time will I have to get up in order to drop two off and get to work in time. This sounds impossible, yet people do it all.the.time. Everyone says we will find a new routine, but it sounds pretty far off right now. How will Jason handle both of them while I'm at work all day. When will we find time for each other, will we come out of this on the other side still loving each other?!

Now, I'm rambling.

So, dear Natalie, we feel so blessed to have you in our lives. Mommy prayed for a sweet, healthy little girl, and someone heard her! Your timing, though early, was perfect. Daddy has the whole summer to spend time with you and get to know you before going back to school and studying hard this fall. Your mom mom already hopes you will give me a hard time like I gave her. I hope you are always content with your beautiful self, and life, and grow to be a wonderful person. Mommy, Daddy, and Cooper will be there for you every step of the way, we already love you so much!

xoxo