that guy

I have to say - this baby is very punctual. Here we are, midnight again, and he's bouncing around like normal at this hour. Maybe it's because this is when I get to lay down and he has more room to stretch out - but I just think he's that smart.

I also have to say, Jason is one of the strongest people I know. I would never be able to endure all this. He's going back to surgery in the morning, and he will be the first one to go, so I probably won't get up early enough to see him off. This may make me look sound a bad wife, but I can only do so much. The reality of it is, if the situation were reversed, I would hate to be by myself for that. I'm sure I'd be a blubbering mess all the time. He's adapted so well so far. We still have quite a learning curve, but he's really doing well. Yesterday when we went to McDonald's, he found a place to park while I ordered - I could hear a bunch of chairs scraping across the floor and wondered if that was him trying to make room. When I got to the table, he said some guy came to help him because he knocked a chair over trying to fit at the table. If that was me, I would've just sat there and cried. He just laughed it off. But I know he's feeling the tears on the inside. I just can't imagine how he feels. Even though that sounds so cliche.

There's always this van outside one of the buildings I walk by during the day for Ride 2 Recovery. So I googled it. Looks intense. I'm trying to figure out what we're going to do to stay active and involved, especially now that we're receiving all this assistance, I feel like we need to give back. Obviously not right this moment, but eventually. Anyway, the ride is more like a Challenge, and it's 350-450 miles of biking over a period of a week I think? I know the Wounded Warrior Project does a lot for soldiers like Jason, but I don't want to take and not give - I just want it to be something meaningful. That, and his job after he's discharged is literally to go to PT and get better. And I won't be working. We're going to have a lot of time on our hands - he's talking about staring school (yippee!!) and I'm already planning our trips to the Zoo and National Monuments via Metro, and maybe a family vacation once baby is here and he is more rehabilitated. Not that this is ideal, but what a wonderful silver lining - to have him home and so, so available for the family at a time like this when we're bringing a new life in to the world. Money will be tight, for sure, (I'm dreading that part) but we'll be making plenty of priceless memories as a new family of three.

We watched Soul Surfer tonight, kind of ironic. But a good movie, a little inspiring. He says at least once every day "I still can't believe I'm that guy" - as in that guy that all the other guys talk about during deployment "Man, remember when so-and-so got hit?!" Yeah, now he's that guy.

He seems to be getting phantom pains more frequently. He says they go away when he looks at his nub and tells his brain the foot isn't there anymore. But he definitely gets annoyed with them. A constant painful reminder that he no longer has a foot.

But he did say he would get another pedicure with me, as long as he gets it for half price :)