Anyway, at least today is over. I'm emotionally drained from all this, and today it kind of came to a head. It felt like we were kind of getting in to a routine, and then on my way to the PACU to see Jason, I randomly ran in to a lady from SFAC and she was telling me about all this stuff I was supposed to be doing but had no idea. She was like "Yeah, don't you remember? I gave you that checklist..." What I remember is you coming to his room and telling me that in the process of Walter Reed moving over to Bethesda, everyone was coming to the bedside to do the job that needed to be done, so I didn't have to go anywhere to do anything. I don't remember you telling me that I still had to go to the family member orientation and I still need to go see people from finance and casualty affairs. I don't remember you telling me that I have to get a travel voucher every 15 days for per diem, or renew my TTO orders every month, or sign in at building 62 once a week.
So I go see Jason in the PACU, and he's doing well, but in pain, and severely annoyed with the staff. We asked for a urinal, so they put it on the table at the end of the bed where he can't reach it, good thing I'm there. So he's trying to pee sitting up, which I'm sure is very hard for men, and in walks some doctor. We were like "Uhh, he's trying to pee, could you give him a minute?!" She says "Oh sure" and closes the curtain and stands there and stares at him. Really? So he asked me to have her leave, and I'm growing some balls now, because now I'm allowed to be a little more outspoken with doctors since they're not my colleagues. I asked her to step out, and she cocked a little attitude and said "Well, I'm just here to fix the wound vac." I said "I know, and I'll let you know when he's finished." So after he practically fills the urinal, she's very antsy to get back in there. She looks at the wound vac and sees that the canister just wasn't connected properly which is why the leak alarm was going off. She cocks an attitude with the nurse and says "It would've been nice if someone would have troubleshot before they called me about this." Oh man, I was so close to being like "You're going to need to take your disagreement elsewhere." But she proceeds to start talking to me about the surgery. But by that point I was so turned off by her, I couldn't actively listen. I have never seen this woman, but I think she was one of the orthopedic surgeons. Not a fan.
So that was how our day started. Once he was settled back in his room, I went down to find this infamous building 62 (which will be our home for quite a while after he's discharged, by the way). I go up to where SFAC is now located, and of course the people I need to see aren't there. But I still go over some checklist thing, and talk to Casualty Affairs about the orders, then go to Finance where he confuses me to no end and I just leave fighting tears because I just don't understand. Finally make it outside and away from all the people and just cry. I was just overwhelmed at that point. I still am, but I guess I'm just not letting myself think about it right now. It's a holiday weekend, and we're in a government facility, which means everything will be closed until next Tuesday. I did email the social worker to come and see us a couple times a week so that I can just be sure I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be, because apparently I'm not catching on to everything.
I'm tired of people telling us he won't be assigned here. I'm tired of wondering what we're supposed to do with all our stuff and a house we're paying rent on and not living in. I'm tired of waiting to get orders to go back to Colorado to finish things. If I have to wait too much longer, I won't be able to go back out there at all because of the pregnancy. Maybe that will speed them along...but most likely not.
I'm seriously considering getting a pair of pajama jeans. They have to be perfect maternity pants. I have never been one to wear jeans everywhere, I just don't find them comfortable. Which is why I'm always wearing my scrub pants now. But now I'm thinking I should've ordered a bigger size. Ugh.
I'm feeling extra exhausted today, just literally drained, so I'm really going to try to get to sleep at a decent hour...
1 comment:
Stephanie, your a great writer. I've been thinking you should write a book after all this is over to help other wives/spouses. I can't believe they expect you to remember all those things and tell you when you are just adjusting to your situation!! Oh yea, I can, remember where I work? Good for you that you are getting the social worker to come. That was a great idea. Will be praying for things to work out in perfect timing!!
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