Jason and I have decided we're ready to go back to a normal life now. This sucks. No more silly arguments about where we should go for dinner. "What do you feel like eating?" "I don't know." "Ok, how about ____." "Nah, I don't really feel like eating that." "Ok, well what do you feel like eating?" "I don't know..." and from there the argument usually ensued :)
But, no more of that. Now it's all talk about land mines and what they look like and how you find them. Or about whatever surgery we had today, I think it was his 8th. Or when can we get in a wheelchair, or go outside, or get the epidural turned off, or get out of this stupid room. No more normal every day talk. Can't really play cards, he only can use his right hand right now. We Facebook a little, and I teach him how to use his new phone. Then we try to figure out something for dinner because the hospital food is stereotypically terrible. By the time I realize we don't have any plans for dinner, it's too late to call one of the millions of people who have so kindly offered to bring us a meal. I need to make a schedule.
We decided that this is worse than deployment. He's here. And I'm here. But we're still sleeping in separate beds, and I can't even get a real hug from him. I have to leave every night. Well I don't have to, but I make myself. Trust me, I've tried to get in that bed with him, even just to lay next to him. But the couple times I've tried, it makes him slide down for some reason, and then all his tubes are in the way and then I'm wedged between him and the side rail and I can't move and we still can't really snuggle. I just keep picturing all the patients I walked in on in the middle of the night sleeping in bed with their husbands, and thought I'd be able to be that annoying spouse. Guess not. Instead, I'll just tell them how to do their jobs for now.
Tomorrow is hygiene day. Poor thing hasn't showered since who knows when. He already takes the longest showers I've ever seen someone take - I can only imagine how long this next one will be, whenever that is. So for now, it's just bed baths. Good thing his wife knows how to give those :)
We joked that we'd make a hand out for people when they come - to answer any questions so we wouldn't have to go through that conversation every time.
Probably the smartest thing I ever did was bring home all my scrub pants. I thought they'd be one of those things I'd never wear but I packed them anyway, but really, they're the most comfortable pants I have besides pajamas, and I'd look like a slob wearing those every day. I only wear the pants though, I figured if I wore the tops, that might be a little too much. I mean, they look like half way normal pants. Just in brighter colors.
One of my friends might visit tomorrow afternoon. Yay! It's been so hard with family wanting to visit, I've felt like I can't have any of my friends visit. I don't want to leave him up here, he doesn't get to leave, and at least I can walk around and leave the hospital, that's fine with me. I'm generally a loner I guess, and I really don't mind being by myself or just sitting in the room with him. I'm not one of those people that has to be doing something all the time (although I am worrying about something all the time). I like the solitude every now and then. I'm sure it will get old eventually, and I will have my car soon and be able to go other places. So maybe I'll take a drive down to good ol KG, but not right now. He's just now been here a week!
So, tomorrow will likely be another relaxed day, and I'm excited for that.
No comments:
Post a Comment