Perhaps this is not the best time for me to be writing a blog.
I was overwhelmed with emotions, though, and couldn't help it.
I feel our friends slipping away, and I hate that. I hate *almost* everything that has happened to us in the past year. No one wishes to go through this, no one wishes to know what it's like. Well, most people don't anyway.
Do I want everyone to bow down, feel sorry, and invite us to every event ever? No. But, do I feel offended and like its because of his injury that we're (or he's) not invited some places? Yes.
I'm not quite sure how to remedy this other than to just get over it and grow up.
I know he feels it. He just doesn't put it out there like I do.
Maybe one day we'll be completely accepted wherever we end up, and I can't wait for that day.
Remember almost a year ago when I was staying how I couldn't wait until we were out of the hospital; well now I'm saying I can't wait until we're accepted by society as normal again.
Here I sit, on the verge of tears, while he's upstairs asleep, not knowing (or caring) the difference. Maybe I'm just crazy. Or maybe he's just not telling me everything. I just know I'd be in full fledge tears if I saw my closest friends doing something obviously planned without me in mind. (Take me back to high school, Stephanie!) I know, that's what it seems like. The more I read what I'm writing, the more I know I shouldn't even be posting this at all. Hey, whatever, it will make for entertaining reading tomorrow right?!
For as many emotions as I am feeling, I certainly seemed to sum it up in those few paragraphs! Shocking.
Thank you to those who have always treated us as if we were normal. Because we are.
What is normal anyway?!
2 comments:
You should put it out there. If only as a reminder to people that when circumstances change, it doesn't mean that the people change. Those others may be having difficulty dealing with Jason's injuries. Same as when someone dies, or loses their job, or gets divorced, or any other terrible thing that happens. People, in their awkwardness, don't know what to say or do, so they opt to do nothing. Which is often much worse. Don't necessarily write those fair-weather friends off, but also realize that there may be other people out there, waiting to come into your lives. So sorry that you are having to deal with this on top of everything else.
I am so sorry you are upset but I know how you feel. The friends we had before his injury are no longer our friends. They walked away, quit calling, etc. We made a new set of friends that accepts us for who we are and what we have been through. They have no ties to the military and they seem to understand and care more than the old friends. Hang in there.
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