Dearest Natalie,
I can absolutely NOT believe that you're a half a year old already! Amazing. The years are flying by now. You are my content little girl, now. A complete turnaround from your first four months!
You aren't rolling yet, and that has me worried a little. I'm sure you will be ok, and I should embrace the lack of mobility right now, but I do want the world for you, and certainly don't want you behind! I believe you can do it, but I think you are just fine being on your back that you have no desire to do it. You are tolerating your belly much longer now, and have gone from your belly to your back…but only one day.
Your first food was homemade sweet potatoes. You were really indifferent, and only ate a couple spoonfuls.
Your dad has been trying to get you to belly laugh, which you still haven't done, at least to his standards. You will laugh, only if something is really funny. Your personality is starting to emerge, and we think you're going to be so laid back, and very serious. Getting you to smile is getting easier, but you still reserve the good smiles for very special occasions!
You've inherited your daddy's bushy eyebrows…the jury is still out on who's hair you will have!
I'm worried you've also inherited your mommy's lazy eye. So, I'm sorry in advance :(
I had forgotten how easy shopping was with a 6 month old. You aren't sitting yet, either, but you can sit in the cart if I prop you up with blankets. You don't wiggle out of the seat belt or kick or scream, and it's amazing. I can actually slowly wander through every aisle of target like I have been longing to do since what feels like forever. It's almost like a vacation! In that aspect, it does feel like the second baby was so much easier. But not in a lot of other aspects.
You are still sleeping in the pack and play in our room, much to your fathers dismay. He's tired of whispering anytime we go to bed. And it's true, you do need to be in your own room, in your own bed. Hopefully soon, sweet girl. I'm sorry you didn't get a precious pink nursery from day one of your life, those kinds of things are just not in the cards for our family, it seems. What matters is that you are loved AND you are sleeping 12 hours at night :)
You continue to be my happy, observant, girl. We are so blessed to have you in our lives, we love you so much!
xoxo
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
Natalie Months 4 & 5
Natty Girl,
These months are starting to fly! I can't believe you're already 5 months old! In the early days, I longed for these months. These are the fun months, I remembered. I was right, but I'm already missing how tiny and sweet you were.
You are actively reaching for toys and trying so hard to roll over, but haven't quite mastered that yet. You are starting to enjoy being on your tummy as well. We have finally figured out that you thrive on a schedule. Which is hard for your Mommy! Today, after sleeping 12hours at night, you went back to sleep at 9am and slept until 1:30pm when I had to wake you up! If you miss that morning nap, all bets are off and we pretty much are just winging it until bed time for you because you won't nap well after that. You don't stay asleep in the car seat if I want to run errands, either. You would rather look around and bat your long eyelashes at everyone you see while we are out! But, we are so grateful that you are sleeping better now! It was a rough first few months, for sure.
Your brother loves doting on you. He soothes you when you are crying, and reassures you that we are near by. He loves to help you play with your toys. He brings you things to hold and turns your music and lights on for you.
You continue to love your baths, talking to mommy & daddy, sleeping in the morning but not the evening, momma's milk, sucking your thumb, and the exersaucer! You continue to dislike playing by yourself for too long, laying down for too long, tummy time (sometimes), being startled by your brother (or dad), and tummy aches.
Different from your brother, you only seem to suck your thumb when putting yourself to sleep. Which is fine by me! It's amazing, actually, to watch you put yourself to sleep. As long as you're not over tired, you go to sleep almost instantly. You put your little arm up over your eyes, and the other thumb goes in your mouth, and you're out like a light! Incredible. All that stress in the first few months, that I was convinced would rub off on you and in turn make you a horrible sleeper, was all for naught.
I imagine this month you will master the skill of rolling over, and maybe cut a tooth or two? You've been chewing on your hands and more recently, your tongue.
Your daddy can't wait to see what you're going to look like, and what kind of personality you're going to have. I, on the other hand, can wait. I love this little tiny you - who plays so quietly on your play mat, doesn't move from where I put you down, and who doesn't crawl around eating all your brothers crumbs or dropped raisins (aka choking hazards). Please stay this size forever my sweet chubby cheeked girl.
We love you sweet girl, you are our blessing baby.
xoxo
mommy
These months are starting to fly! I can't believe you're already 5 months old! In the early days, I longed for these months. These are the fun months, I remembered. I was right, but I'm already missing how tiny and sweet you were.
You are actively reaching for toys and trying so hard to roll over, but haven't quite mastered that yet. You are starting to enjoy being on your tummy as well. We have finally figured out that you thrive on a schedule. Which is hard for your Mommy! Today, after sleeping 12hours at night, you went back to sleep at 9am and slept until 1:30pm when I had to wake you up! If you miss that morning nap, all bets are off and we pretty much are just winging it until bed time for you because you won't nap well after that. You don't stay asleep in the car seat if I want to run errands, either. You would rather look around and bat your long eyelashes at everyone you see while we are out! But, we are so grateful that you are sleeping better now! It was a rough first few months, for sure.
Your brother loves doting on you. He soothes you when you are crying, and reassures you that we are near by. He loves to help you play with your toys. He brings you things to hold and turns your music and lights on for you.
You continue to love your baths, talking to mommy & daddy, sleeping in the morning but not the evening, momma's milk, sucking your thumb, and the exersaucer! You continue to dislike playing by yourself for too long, laying down for too long, tummy time (sometimes), being startled by your brother (or dad), and tummy aches.
Different from your brother, you only seem to suck your thumb when putting yourself to sleep. Which is fine by me! It's amazing, actually, to watch you put yourself to sleep. As long as you're not over tired, you go to sleep almost instantly. You put your little arm up over your eyes, and the other thumb goes in your mouth, and you're out like a light! Incredible. All that stress in the first few months, that I was convinced would rub off on you and in turn make you a horrible sleeper, was all for naught.
I imagine this month you will master the skill of rolling over, and maybe cut a tooth or two? You've been chewing on your hands and more recently, your tongue.
Your daddy can't wait to see what you're going to look like, and what kind of personality you're going to have. I, on the other hand, can wait. I love this little tiny you - who plays so quietly on your play mat, doesn't move from where I put you down, and who doesn't crawl around eating all your brothers crumbs or dropped raisins (aka choking hazards). Please stay this size forever my sweet chubby cheeked girl.
We love you sweet girl, you are our blessing baby.
xoxo
mommy
Friday, September 26, 2014
Natalie Months 2 & 3
Dear sweet girl,
One of the first things I realized when I became a mommy of two, was how much less I cared about certain things. Not about you, no no. Baths, for example. Now I have to figure out how to manage your brother while bathing you, or vice versa. And, you are rarely dirty…so you get them once or twice a week. Your brother, maybe three times depending on how dirty or sweaty he is! I also care less about leaving you with your daddy. Meaning, I'm more relaxed about letting him feed you a bottle here and there if I'm out running errands and *gasp* I have to skip a feeding…I've been making myself leave more often because staying inside can make one go crazy! Though, getting out and doing takes much more effort than staying in and sitting, it is good for me, and in turn, good for our family.
Which brings me to my next point - after you were born, I'm pretty sure I went through some Post Partum Depression. Nothing like what you would hear about in the news (that's psychosis…and a whole different ball game) but the sitting in the same spot on the couch every day, nursing you for what felt like all day long, praying you would sleep but you wouldn't, etc. Well, frankly, it got old much faster this time around. And it made me wish for you to be older. Once I went back to work, I found a little bit of my old self again, and am happy to say, I believe I'm on the mend. I'm only working two days a week, and I am so grateful that we are able to do that.
Obviously, I'm busier with you than I was with your brother - because now there are two of you! And you both want my full attention all the time! Which is why you are almost four months old, and I'm just now writing about your second and third month.
In your second month - July - we did a lot of what I just described above. We sat on the couch and I nursed you. I desperately tried to get you on a schedule of some sort because I felt the clock ticking for having to go back to work (though still weeks away). You refused any sort of schedule. You also refused to enjoy anything but being held by your mom or dad. You did start smiling, though.
In your third month - August - we went to the beach! You were baptized by Pastor Finck, who also baptized me, confirmed me, married your dad and I, and baptized your brother! You have two God Mommies, Krystal and Lisa. They are two of the most faithful people I know, and I can't wait for you to get to know them both. I think you enjoyed the beach, although you didn't have much to say about it this year. Your toes touched the Atlantic for the first time, and you cried because it was chilly. You were bathed in the sink at mom moms beach house. You also met your Grandpop and MiMi and your great grandparents from Philadelphia for the first time in Virginia. Your great grand mom made you a beautiful christening dress that I hope you can pass down to your daughter one day. You flew on a plane for the first time and slept the whole way!
You have been spending full days with daddy when I go to work and the first day was rough. Ever since then, though, you've behaved yourself for him for the most part. You are proving to be a little more high maintenance than your brother. But it should be that way, shouldn't it? You are a little princess, after all.
You have been sleeping "through the night" for a while now, I'm not sure when it started officially, because I wouldn't consider it through the night just yet. You sleep from about 7-8pm until 4-5am. And after a feeding, again until 8-9am. But, you wake up around 12-1am and start fussing, looking around for the pacifier that has long since fallen out of your mouth…and then I spend the rest of the early morning putting it back in, about every hour or so. Finally though, my dear girl, this week in fact, you have found your thumb. I could not be more excited, although I'm sure we will pay for it in dentist bills later. Until then, I believe it is an awesome coping mechanism, and I also believe it's why your brother is such a solid sleeper and self entertainer. Or maybe that's just his personality. Either way, today has been monumental in that you have taken three naps in your bed (!!) and for two of them, put yourself to sleep while sucking your thumb! Huge step! For the past three months you would take a long afternoon nap in the swing, and no where else. I even tried to move the swing upstairs so I could get things done downstairs without waking you, and you could tell you weren't around people…and would wake up after about 30 minutes, never to return to dreamland again. There were days when I really thought you would never reach the point of sleeping on your own, and that I would have to hold you until you were a teenager!
You love sitting up straight - and so you've enjoyed the Bumbo chair much more than your brother ever did. You'd much rather be watching everyone moving around the kitchen than laying under your play mat. You love to listen to mommy 'sing' even though my voice is horrible. You will be starting a baby music class next week hopefully!
Something I've been telling myself over and over, "don't wish these moments away" - because I know you will be a rambunctious 2.5 year old before I know it, and I will want to hold you and have you fall asleep on my chest one more time.
You may be high maintenance - and you may not be. I could be blowing it all out of proportion because having two at once is more stressful and I'm having a hard time balancing it all. But you still are our miracle baby. A baby girl I prayed for for so long. And you're here! And I want so badly to not mess anything up. I want our relationship to be strong and great, all the time. I want a baby girl who will be so confident but humble, and smart but kind and gentle. And so you may only be 3 months old, but I am already wishing the world for you. To have a life full of happiness and ease, filled with genuine people and love.
Everything about you is different from your brother, and that is just how it should be. I will constantly struggle with comparing the two of you, but I know deep down there is no comparison. You are both my sweet babies and I will love you both until I can't anymore.
Your dad and I love you to pieces cutie pie. You are a beautiful girl. (And your eyelashes are beautifully long right now!) In my opinion, perfect in every way possible!
Love you Natalie Jane
xoxo
One of the first things I realized when I became a mommy of two, was how much less I cared about certain things. Not about you, no no. Baths, for example. Now I have to figure out how to manage your brother while bathing you, or vice versa. And, you are rarely dirty…so you get them once or twice a week. Your brother, maybe three times depending on how dirty or sweaty he is! I also care less about leaving you with your daddy. Meaning, I'm more relaxed about letting him feed you a bottle here and there if I'm out running errands and *gasp* I have to skip a feeding…I've been making myself leave more often because staying inside can make one go crazy! Though, getting out and doing takes much more effort than staying in and sitting, it is good for me, and in turn, good for our family.
Which brings me to my next point - after you were born, I'm pretty sure I went through some Post Partum Depression. Nothing like what you would hear about in the news (that's psychosis…and a whole different ball game) but the sitting in the same spot on the couch every day, nursing you for what felt like all day long, praying you would sleep but you wouldn't, etc. Well, frankly, it got old much faster this time around. And it made me wish for you to be older. Once I went back to work, I found a little bit of my old self again, and am happy to say, I believe I'm on the mend. I'm only working two days a week, and I am so grateful that we are able to do that.
Obviously, I'm busier with you than I was with your brother - because now there are two of you! And you both want my full attention all the time! Which is why you are almost four months old, and I'm just now writing about your second and third month.
In your second month - July - we did a lot of what I just described above. We sat on the couch and I nursed you. I desperately tried to get you on a schedule of some sort because I felt the clock ticking for having to go back to work (though still weeks away). You refused any sort of schedule. You also refused to enjoy anything but being held by your mom or dad. You did start smiling, though.
In your third month - August - we went to the beach! You were baptized by Pastor Finck, who also baptized me, confirmed me, married your dad and I, and baptized your brother! You have two God Mommies, Krystal and Lisa. They are two of the most faithful people I know, and I can't wait for you to get to know them both. I think you enjoyed the beach, although you didn't have much to say about it this year. Your toes touched the Atlantic for the first time, and you cried because it was chilly. You were bathed in the sink at mom moms beach house. You also met your Grandpop and MiMi and your great grandparents from Philadelphia for the first time in Virginia. Your great grand mom made you a beautiful christening dress that I hope you can pass down to your daughter one day. You flew on a plane for the first time and slept the whole way!
You have been spending full days with daddy when I go to work and the first day was rough. Ever since then, though, you've behaved yourself for him for the most part. You are proving to be a little more high maintenance than your brother. But it should be that way, shouldn't it? You are a little princess, after all.
You have been sleeping "through the night" for a while now, I'm not sure when it started officially, because I wouldn't consider it through the night just yet. You sleep from about 7-8pm until 4-5am. And after a feeding, again until 8-9am. But, you wake up around 12-1am and start fussing, looking around for the pacifier that has long since fallen out of your mouth…and then I spend the rest of the early morning putting it back in, about every hour or so. Finally though, my dear girl, this week in fact, you have found your thumb. I could not be more excited, although I'm sure we will pay for it in dentist bills later. Until then, I believe it is an awesome coping mechanism, and I also believe it's why your brother is such a solid sleeper and self entertainer. Or maybe that's just his personality. Either way, today has been monumental in that you have taken three naps in your bed (!!) and for two of them, put yourself to sleep while sucking your thumb! Huge step! For the past three months you would take a long afternoon nap in the swing, and no where else. I even tried to move the swing upstairs so I could get things done downstairs without waking you, and you could tell you weren't around people…and would wake up after about 30 minutes, never to return to dreamland again. There were days when I really thought you would never reach the point of sleeping on your own, and that I would have to hold you until you were a teenager!
You love sitting up straight - and so you've enjoyed the Bumbo chair much more than your brother ever did. You'd much rather be watching everyone moving around the kitchen than laying under your play mat. You love to listen to mommy 'sing' even though my voice is horrible. You will be starting a baby music class next week hopefully!
Something I've been telling myself over and over, "don't wish these moments away" - because I know you will be a rambunctious 2.5 year old before I know it, and I will want to hold you and have you fall asleep on my chest one more time.
You may be high maintenance - and you may not be. I could be blowing it all out of proportion because having two at once is more stressful and I'm having a hard time balancing it all. But you still are our miracle baby. A baby girl I prayed for for so long. And you're here! And I want so badly to not mess anything up. I want our relationship to be strong and great, all the time. I want a baby girl who will be so confident but humble, and smart but kind and gentle. And so you may only be 3 months old, but I am already wishing the world for you. To have a life full of happiness and ease, filled with genuine people and love.
Everything about you is different from your brother, and that is just how it should be. I will constantly struggle with comparing the two of you, but I know deep down there is no comparison. You are both my sweet babies and I will love you both until I can't anymore.
Your dad and I love you to pieces cutie pie. You are a beautiful girl. (And your eyelashes are beautifully long right now!) In my opinion, perfect in every way possible!
Love you Natalie Jane
xoxo
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
The End of an Era
It happened! It's here! The time has finally come!
 |
| Basic Training Graduation |
Probably a week after we got home with Natalie, Jason's PEBLO called with the news. His VA ratings hadn't changed, the Army ratings increased 20%, but nothing from the VA. They assured us we could submit claims after he gets out, and that is ratings will "definitely increase". But we won't be able to do that until he's out, and even then, who knows how long the process will take. You've seen the VA in the news lately…it seems nothing good comes out of that organization, and that's really scary!
So this is it, he's getting out!
Talk about scary.
He's on post picking up his clearing papers as I type this. Last night he said "Every time I've cleared a post, it's to go to another one…not to be done forever. This is scary."
It's amazing how something he's dreamt about for so long, probably since he was in basic (ha!), is finally here, exactly 10 years later, and now he's scared to leave it! I can understand, though. I believe the Army brainwashes these guys (especially infantry guys), and it becomes a crutch. They get so used to the routine, being treated like children, and the guaranteed pay, they don't even know where to start when they're out and have complete control of their lives. Jason has it mostly figured out by now, though. He's been through multiple chains of command at the WTU since he's been here 2.5 years waiting for this day, he's had plenty of time to figure out his life after the Army.
The plan stays the same: We will likely buy a house out here (once he's out and they will finally approve us for a loan), he will finish his bachelors degree (which right now he still wants to be in Physics), and then hopefully we will be able to move back East. I will stay at my current job which is one of the main reasons we're staying here for now, it's SO flexible with his school schedule and our daycare is on post which as a civilian, I still have access to. Now, if things could go as planned for the next few years, that would be awesome! But…we all know how that works.
What I'm most excited about is being able to pick up and go wherever, whenever we want! To be able to plan things and trips months in advance! What I'm not excited about? The giant pay cut we're about to take. So far, we've survived my unpaid maternity leave by just sitting at home and hardly eating out/ordering out at all. I'm rather impressed with us. We haven't had to dip in to our savings yet! But, he's still getting paid. Luckily, when he stops getting paid, I will have been back at work for about a month, so we should be OK financially. We will still take a pay cut, even with me working, but we will survive! We are blessed that he will be able to go to school full time and not have to work because of the GI Bill, and we are blessed that I still won't have to work full time.
Because Jason is in the WTU, he gets the privilege of being put in the lowest financial category for daycare, meaning what we pay is out of this world cheap right now. Once he's out, it's based on income, so I'm hoping it's not too crazy expensive - especially since it will be doubled! I was thinking of keeping Natalie out of daycare a little longer since Jason will have the freedom to stay at home with her while I work.
So, there you have it. Almost three years after he was injured, he is finally getting out. All that waiting and we still didn't get the results we hoped for. We will still have to fight hard once he's out, or he'll likely get lost in the system. At first, it felt like I had been punched in the gut - of course all this would happen now. We just had another major life change with this second baby, why not throw this on top of it. But now that I've had some time to process it all, it will certainly work out. Maybe not as awesome as we had hoped - at least not yet - but the timing really couldn't have been better. He'll be out before he starts school again which means he has the rest of the summer to clear, out process, tie up loose ends, last minute doctor appointments, etc. We'll be able to go on our beach vacation with no worries about leave since he'll already be on terminal leave. And then he'll come home, and start school without having to worry about calling his squad leader every morning to 'check in' and still go to PT and pull duty throughout the semester.
I am so excited for him. This is a huge step! He is handling all this change and responsibility so well! His main concern has always been us, and how he will support his family, which I am so, so grateful for. I've loved him for almost as long as we've been together, he's always been so considerate of me and my feelings, but I love him even more now. After all he's been through, he's coming out on the other side shining even brighter than he did in the Army. He's not letting any of this get him down, he's not milking the system, he's so humble and undeserving, and still so driven and even more motivated now than before.
It will be surreal, I'm sure. A life without the Army. Many people at the WTU have asked him to work there, to be a staff NCO, or work there as a civilian after he's out. I always thought he should be a prosthetist since he knows a lot about it now, and likes to work with his hands. He said no. "It's already a huge part of my life. I don't want it to be my job, too." He has always said he wants to get as far away from the Army as possible. Unfortunately, now, it will always be a very real, and very obvious part of his life. A story he will tell often as our kids grow older and more curious, as their friends ask about it, and any new friends we should make along the way.
Cooper notices his missing middle finger more than his leg right now. "What happened your finger, Daddy?" while pointing to it. "You got hurt?" "Yes, bubby, my finger got hurt."
If that's all he notices, because his daddy can do pretty much anything other daddy can do, I'd say we're in good shape!
 |
| 10 years later |
Natalie: Month 1
Dear Natalie,
It's almost time for your two month post (you're six weeks old), and I debated doing them together, but I have some time while you're napping, and your brother is occupied with his iPad.
What a whirlwind your first month has been! Maybe not for you, but definitely for your father and I!
Mom Mom and Poppy were here for your first month, mostly to help with Cooper while we learned all about you, and how you like or don't like things.
What we have learned so far: you're very unpredictable, you still haven't found a schedule you like, you get overstimulated very easily, and then over tired, and then you just won't sleep, you do not like having a dirty diaper for long, you do love to be held, you like to be in the swing, you don't like to take milk from a bottle, though you're not a great breastfeeder either, you make every face under the sun when trying to pass gas or poop, you are awake more at night (still!), you do like baths, you will NOT take a pacifier, we are still praying you will find your thumb (you have a couple times, but not for long), and you're finally growing out of your newborn clothes.
I have been beyond stressed trying to figure out some sort of schedule for you. Probably very unnecessarily stressed, as I'm sure it will work itself out eventually. The hardest part is not comparing you to your brother. Even so, he wasn't on a schedule at six weeks. And I specifically remember him getting over tired and then screaming for what seemed like ever, too.
What Daddy and I have decided is that we aren't giving you enough time! You're still only six weeks old! The last two nights you've slept for 7hrs then 6hrs, so maybe we're turning a corner, although I'm not going to get my hopes up!
It sure makes going out a lot harder. Now, I'm afraid you'll get to overstimulated and then it will throw the whole day off. I know you'll get there eventually, and that I shouldn't rush this time, because I know I'll miss it when you're running around like your big brother!
Daddy says he is most excited to see what kind of personality you will have and if you will have curly hair like your brother (I doubt it!). We are biased, but you are the prettiest baby girl we've ever seen!
This one will be short since you don't do too much these days but eat, sleep, and cry!
Even still, we love you, our answered prayer!
xoxo
It's almost time for your two month post (you're six weeks old), and I debated doing them together, but I have some time while you're napping, and your brother is occupied with his iPad.
What a whirlwind your first month has been! Maybe not for you, but definitely for your father and I!
Mom Mom and Poppy were here for your first month, mostly to help with Cooper while we learned all about you, and how you like or don't like things.
What we have learned so far: you're very unpredictable, you still haven't found a schedule you like, you get overstimulated very easily, and then over tired, and then you just won't sleep, you do not like having a dirty diaper for long, you do love to be held, you like to be in the swing, you don't like to take milk from a bottle, though you're not a great breastfeeder either, you make every face under the sun when trying to pass gas or poop, you are awake more at night (still!), you do like baths, you will NOT take a pacifier, we are still praying you will find your thumb (you have a couple times, but not for long), and you're finally growing out of your newborn clothes.
I have been beyond stressed trying to figure out some sort of schedule for you. Probably very unnecessarily stressed, as I'm sure it will work itself out eventually. The hardest part is not comparing you to your brother. Even so, he wasn't on a schedule at six weeks. And I specifically remember him getting over tired and then screaming for what seemed like ever, too.
What Daddy and I have decided is that we aren't giving you enough time! You're still only six weeks old! The last two nights you've slept for 7hrs then 6hrs, so maybe we're turning a corner, although I'm not going to get my hopes up!It sure makes going out a lot harder. Now, I'm afraid you'll get to overstimulated and then it will throw the whole day off. I know you'll get there eventually, and that I shouldn't rush this time, because I know I'll miss it when you're running around like your big brother!
Daddy says he is most excited to see what kind of personality you will have and if you will have curly hair like your brother (I doubt it!). We are biased, but you are the prettiest baby girl we've ever seen!
This one will be short since you don't do too much these days but eat, sleep, and cry!
Even still, we love you, our answered prayer!
xoxo
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